


In the Path of a Lightning Bolt (aka The Marimo Mystery)

by stoatwrote



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I mean we all know who the mysterious blonde is okay, M/M, Mystery, Slow Burn, as much as I can do in 26k, folks they are so oblivious to eachother, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25850434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stoatwrote/pseuds/stoatwrote
Summary: “What do you mean, it’s not your actual name? That’s the only name we know you by!”“What the fuck does that mean?”“Here, let me show you,” Trigger Happy held their hand up, slowly moving the other one behind them. Zoro gave a warning tilt of his head and reminded them all that he had a sword against one of their friends’ throats.“Not going for my gun, going for my wallet, easy.”Trigger Happy pulled out a wallet and held it open for Zoro to see. Instead of an ID in the clear plastic sleeve, there was Zoro’s highschool senior photo staring back at him. Below was written:MARIMO: DO NOT ENGAGE, DO NOT HARM, DO NOT KILLOnly one person called him that name and hadn't for years. So who the hell were these people and why did they have his picture on what looked like a no-hit list of one?------It's my Leverage inspired One Piece Modern AU!
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 87
Kudos: 214





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every idea I had for this was corny as shit, so since I couldn’t think up anything serious, have fun in this corn maze! (Except oops maybe it got kind of serious) I am here for self-indulgent bullshit and self-indulgent bullshit only.
> 
> Also, it’s a modern au but the World Government is the ruling body and bounty hunting works more similarly to One Piece canon than it does to real life because I did the research two weeks through writing this and decided I didn’t want to rewrite shit to incorporate real world facts. There are still independent nations, just like in One Piece, but they ultimately answer to the World Government.
> 
> Second fic ever, first one plotted out. I hope you enjoy!

Zoro was bored. He was _so bored_. The bank wasn’t even that crowded, it was just that all three tellers were occupied with people who wanted a thousand dollars in single bills or who seemed to think a service worker wanted to hear their whole life story or whatever was happening at the third window. He glared at the couple with the thousand dollars, annoyed when they threw the money up in the air. Great, now they were going to take even longer to clean up. He just wanted to deposit his reward money and go eat. It had taken him forever to get here from the police station even though the officers had told him it was a 10 minute walk. Why not walk, he had thought, he had been driving for five hours and could stretch his legs. So he had left his truck at the station. And then it had taken him an hour to get here because the streets kept shifting on him and he forgot his phone in the passenger seat and didn’t have a shitty computer telling him where to go. The reward money was not worth this bullshit. Which was a problem becoming more and more frequent. The higher bounties were either caught, too elusive given his limited resources, or had some government contact legal loophole bullshit.

Three more people walked into the bank while he waited. They better not cut in line, he would fucking stab them with a fountain pen if they made this last any longer. He was tired as shit after spending two weeks on the hunt.

Something about the way they held themselves was odd. Ever so slightly off. And then he saw the faintest telltale bulge of a gun holster on one of them. _Fucking hell_ . He made to casually leave, looking at his watch as though he had just realized he was late. If he could just get out of here before things went down. He was _so_ not interested in being caught up in a robbery.

  
  
  
  


**BANG!**

  
  
  
  


The first gunshot went off and Zoro dropped to the ground immediately, instincts taking over. Getting shot would be even more of a pain than getting caught in a robbery. He reached to his side for his swords but remembered he had _also left them in the car goddamnit_.

People were screaming and freaking out. Except, it was only the tellers. The people at their windows were oddly calm about the whole thing. The woman in the couple nodded to one of the three newcomers. Goddamnit was Zoro the only person here not in on this fucking robbery? The “bank clients” and two of the newcomers split off and started gathering bank employees from their offices.

“As you may have guessed, this is a robbery, folks. We’ve already cut your phone lines and taken down your security system so no funny business. Get on the floor where we can see you. This guy gets it.” And the speaker, the gunner who had fired the first shot, looked at Zoro. Zoro looked back, annoyed. The gunner did a double take. The fuck?

The gunner went over to one of their compatriots, a brunette with box braids pulled back in a high ponytail, and began whispering. Ponytail looked at Zoro, also did a double take, and then looked shocked, slightly fearful, and then royally pissed off.

What the fuck was going on? They seemed way too organized to be the kinds of people a bounty hunter would go after. And in any case, none of Zoro’s marks had recognized him for what he was before. Ponytail said something into an earpiece and then all of the robbers looked at Zoro as one.

“OKAY WHAT THE-” Zoro began to yell, but was drowned out by the single loud whoop announcing the police had arrived. Great, now things could get really messy.

“Shit,” said Ponytail. Trigger Happy (that was what Zoro had decided to call the first-shot gunner) whispered in Ponytail’s ear. Ponytail nodded. She said something into an earpiece. Zoro caught ‘plan F’, ‘code green’, and ‘long game’. Fuck, he might as well take a nap if they planned to drag this out.

Zoro heard the police yelling some shit over a loudspeaker outside. The woman from the couple (Girlfriend, Zoro decided) went to the front door, now barricaded, and came back with a two-way radio.

“They want to know our demands,” she said to Ponytail.

“Quick on the uptake, huh.” Ponytail said as she turned and walked a distance from Zoro and the rest of the hostages. She seemed to negotiate for a bit and then walked back.

“Okay, you, up.” she pointed at Zoro.

“What do you want with me, Ponytail.” Zoro said as he got up.

“You’re our show of good will, Marimo.” She smiled nastily at him before Trigger Happy elbowed her with a very frightened look on their face.

Well, Zoro wasn’t going to complain about getting out of this clusterfuck early. He’d just have to deposit his cash later. Or at another bank. Surely there couldn’t be two robberies happening at the same time.

He squeezed through the barricade to outside and was greeted by a wall of guns pointing at him. Fucking trigger happy cops. 

He kept his hands up and yelled, “I’m just a hostage!” The guns lowered only slightly and one of the officers came forward to usher him out of the line of fire.

“Shit, Roronoa? Weren’t you just at the police station like an hour ago?” said shitty-direction-giving-cop number one. “I thought you’d be long gone! Can’t believe you got caught up as a bank robbery hostage! Ha, did you beg them off with your reward money to get let out first?”

Zoro did not appreciate being held up by the person clearly responsible for him still being in the area. Nor did he appreciate being talked down to. He glared at Bad Directions.

“Do you need anything from me or am I good to go.” He got out as pleasantly as he could. The cop annoyed him but being arrested for badmouthing a cop fell between getting shot and getting caught in a robbery.

“Oh, yeah, do you know how many were in there? Guns? Hostages?”

“Three people with guns, I don’t know how many hostages.” Technically he wasn’t lying about how many people were doing the actual robbery. He just wasn’t especially interested in helping the cops out. There were reasons he was a bounty hunter and not a cop.

“Anything else you can remember?” the cop asked as he wrote the details down.

“No.”

“Really? Kind of unobservant for a bounty hunter, aren’t you?”

Zoro hoped for the cop’s sake that he let him go soon.

“Anything else.” It was supposed to sound like a question. It didn’t.

“No, you’re free to go Roronoa.”

“Great, bye.”

Zoro walked away, trying to remember how he got here…..marimo?

Wait. _Marimo?_ Ponytail had called him Marimo. He hadn’t heard that name in, shit, eight years now. Only one person had ever called him Marimo, not even his family who definitely knew the name. Did he know Ponytail in highschool? She didn’t look at all familiar but that didn’t mean much. Zoro tended to forget people who weren’t either immediately or constantly important. But if she hadn’t been important, then why the fuck did she call him Marimo.

Somehow, against all odds, he was back at the police station. He knew he was at the right one because he saw his truck parked at the guest entrance. He climbed in.

“For fuck’s sake, Zoro, what took you so long?” Kuina asked, feet propped on the dash, stretching from a nap.

“Got caught in a robbery.” Zoro grumbled. Kuina cackled.

“Ha! Only you would get caught as a hostage after turning in a bounty! Did you at least deposit our reward?”

“No, the fucking robbers showed up before I had a chance.” Zoro complained as he pulled out of the lot. He was never going to hear the end of this, he was sure of it.

“You left your phone here, Kermit.” Kuina wiggled it at him.

“Ugh, I know. Hey, I need to track something, you good to wait on food?” he asked.

“I’m fucking hungry, but sure.” Zoro rolled his eyes. Kuina was always hungry. He would swear she had a parasite if she hadn’t been checked out for one at least ten times.

Zoro drove to a block past the bank with the alleyway behind it visible. If someone needed a runaway vehicle this would be their best bet for parking. 

They waited. 

Kuina’s stomach growled.

* * *

“Look, Zoro, they ordered pizza. Let’s just go back in, say you brought a friend, and then we get free food!” Clearly Kuina’s stomach was doing the talking at this point.

“Shut up black hole, I’ll buy you pizza when we get home.”

“Oh shit for real? You’re the greatest not-brother best friend a girl could have!” She fluttered her eyes at him sarcastically.

“Oh shit, they’re on the move.” Zoro could see people running out of the back of the building into a red car that seemed entirely too small for seven people.

* * *

The two bounty hunters followed the car in their truck at a distance. It didn’t seem like the police were giving chase. Zoro didn’t know how the robbers had pulled off that neat trick. But he wasn’t about to alert them that they had a tail.   
  


They followed them out to the docks. It had taken about an hour and Zoro’s stomach was starting to respond sympathetically to Kuina’s which was now howling. He parked out of sight from the other car and grabbed his three swords from the back seat.

“I’m going alone.” he said.

“What? Why?”

“Your damn stomach is going to give us away, you bottomless pit!”

“Well if you had fed me, I wouldn’t be so hungry!”

“Goddamnit eat some sunflower seeds or something!” and he slammed the door. Shit. Well, too late to regret it now. He had his swords with him, he’d be fine.

Zoro rounded the corner quickly and quietly, ready to draw if guns started pointing at him. The occupants of the car had gotten out and seemed to be preoccupied with the stolen money in their trunk.

He walked up behind Ponytail and held his sword against her neck.

“Hi.”

“What the fuck?” Ponytail yelled.

The other robbers turned to Zoro, reaching for guns, and then abruptly stopping, a look of dread coming over their faces as their hands went up.

“What? What is it?” Ponytail asked. She wasn’t turning around, a smart move considering the blade at her throat.

“It’s him.” said Trigger Happy with all the dread someone could muster into their voice.

“Who--oh shit. _Marimo_.” Ponytail’s shoulders slumped but her tone made it seem like Zoro was the bane of her existence.

“How the fuck do you know that name,” Zoro growled.

“What do you mean, it’s not your actual name? That’s the only name we know you by!” Zoro was starting to like Trigger Happy. They were giving him the most information.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“Here, let me show you,” Trigger Happy held their hand up, slowly moving the other one behind them. Zoro gave a warning tilt of his head and reminded them all that he had a deadly weapon against one of their friends’ throats.

“Not going for my gun, going for my wallet, easy.”

Trigger Happy pulled out a wallet, as promised, and held it open for Zoro to see. Instead of an ID in the clear plastic sleeve, there was a picture of him, younger, with a backdrop so hideous it could only be found in school photos. Below was written: 

  
  


**MARIMO:** DO NOT ENGAGE, DO NOT HARM, DO NOT KILL

  
  


“What the fuck does _that_ mean?” 

Who were these people, and why did they have his picture on what looked like a no-hit list of one?

Zoro motioned for the wallet. “I want a closer look.”

Trigger Happy looked uncertain, but tossed it to him anyway.

“What are you _doing?_ ” Ponytail demanded, “Why are you giving some rando _your wallet?_ ”

“He’s not ‘some rando’ he’s _Marimo!_ What the fuck else am I supposed to do?”

“Thanks. I’m taking this, bye!” Zoro released Ponytail, pushing her into the other three outside the car and ran.

“OH MY GOD, GO AFTER HIM OR SOMETHING” he could hear Ponytail yelling in the distance, but he was already in the truck, startling Kuina out of _another_ nap (god, she was worse than Zoro) and peeling away down the street.

\---

Zoro got Kuina her promised pizzas. She reluctantly shared, but not before putting every single piece of pepperoni from one onto a single slice. Zoro exchanged a horrified look with Perona, their goth, ‘I got a degree in psychology and now I pseudo-therapize everyone’’ roommate (except that she actually was working towards her doctorate in psychology and knew what she was doing and Kuina and Zoro were incredibly proud of her). He stashed the rest of their bounty in the box in the backyard. Perona thought it was a ridiculous place to hide money but Kuina argued that if the house burned down, at least the money wouldn’t burn with it. Zoro just wanted to make sure they had a nest egg in case something like today happened and their money was stolen from a bank.

He lay in bed, Kuina and Perona having gone to bed after trying to one-up each other with fighting games. Perona refused to physically fight Kuina (rightly so, the woman was a terror and didn’t hold back), so they resorted to things like Smash and Street Fighter. They even tried Shaq-Fu once, both refusing to acknowledge they were struggling with the game’s terrible design and slow frames until Zoro ended the torture for them _and_ himself.

He held Trigger Happy’s wallet, looking at the picture of a younger, just as reckless self. It really was a highschool photo. He was pretty sure Kuina had the same one in her own wallet. It was the only school photo he had bought copies of (forced to, since it was his final year) and he looked ridiculous. Hair messy, missing his earrings because they were ‘against school dress code’, in a button-up that was too small and choking him. He didn’t need the picture to remember. He had incessantly been called a stick of hanami dango all day because he was ‘white shirt, pink face, green ass marimo hair’ which wasn’t even accurate because that wasn’t the order the colors came in! 

But it hadn’t stopped the teasing. It had also been the day that he could feel the warmth of someone else’s hands in the metal of his earrings as he put them back on. It had made his heart skip a beat. Shit, it still did. But those hands were long gone and he didn’t get to feel their warmth anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a former serious child who is now a gremlin adult, I will die on this hill of Kuina being an absolute sensate.
> 
> I will release a new chapter every day so stick around if you’re interested! Comments as you go are definitely appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a totally normal and casual outing with your friends to a cafe downtown. Maybe stop somewhere for lunch! Maybe get kicked in the face!

Zoro could not get the robbery out of his head. Well, not the robbery, the fact that someone had called him Marimo and had a picture of him from highschool. A picture of which he had handed out limited copies. The wallet didn’t have much else to go by. It was pretty basic: brown, leather, worn. Not the kind of wallet he’d expect a bank robber to have, but then again, what kind of wallet _did_ he expect a bank robber to have? There was a free drink ticket with two punches left for a cafe downtown. Actually there were three punch tickets, but the other two were full and marked as redeemed. 

There was a business card with just a phone number on it, a patterned deep ocean blue with white type. He tried calling it, but he only got an awkward conversation with a smooth voice at [ _Tourbillon d’Aubergine_ ] for his trouble (and wasn’t that a shock, hearing _aubergine_ after all these years as well). There wasn’t even money in the wallet, cards nor cash. The personal appearance of the wallet and its contents contradicted the fact that its lack of ID and money indicated it was for professional use. It was like someone was supposed to find it and assume it was personal, therefore raising no suspicions towards the owner.

He had called the police station to ask what had happened with the robbery. That was also a no go. Apparently it was an “ongoing investigation.” Which told him they had gotten away with it (as he suspected, considering the lack of cops chasing the car), but nothing about the robbers themselves. He even tried looking through his senior yearbook to see if he recognized any faces, on the off chance that there was a connection there. He hadn’t heard the nickname, the _insult,_ (the endearment), since then. He carefully avoided the one face he knew he would find.

  
  


* * *

  
  


After lunch, Zoro was in Kuina’s room, picking through her bookshelf to see if she had anything interesting to read. She wasn’t finished with the latest issue of _Katsujinken Magazine_ and _would not_ relinquish it until she was done. At least she was actually reading it today.

“Find anything?” Kuina asked, idly touching the scar on her neck as she read. She was currently hanging halfway off the bed with her feet propped on the windowsill next to it. She claimed normal sitting wasn’t as comfortable. Zoro wasn’t sure if he agreed. She would probably switch to another ridiculous pose in a couple minutes and maybe it was the variety that worked for her.

“A couple free drink cards for a coffee shop and a business card that connected to some French shit.” He had only picked out ‘aubergine’ and besides, he didn’t care to hold that language in his mouth anymore. “Called the police too, but it’s apparently an ‘open investigation’ so they were shit all for help.” He made air quotes sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Ooo how many punches left on the cards?”

“Two.”

“Zoro!” Kuina sat up excitedly. “We could get free drinks!”

“Did I hear free drinks?” Perona called from her room across the hall.

Kuina leapt to her doorway and leaned into the hall. “Perona! Zoro’s got free drinks!”

“Hell yeah, sounds like free drinks!” Perona was now behind the other woman, hands on her shoulders and both facing him as they chanted, “Free drinks! Free drinks!” Kuina pumping her fists in time.

Kuina chanted out of genuine excitement. Zoro _knew_ Perona did it just because it would annoy him. She was grinning, for fuck’s sake.

“Oh my god we were going to go anyway! And it’s free _drink_! Singular!” he yelled.

Perona’s grin only widened. Kuina whooped with joy. Why did it feel like they had won? 

“When are you free, Perona?” he asked.

This was definitely not him giving in.

  
  


* * *

They went when Perona had a day off and Kuina wasn’t training or busy at the ceramics studio. She was responsible for all the dishes in their house, the invasion of their cupboards having happened over their years living there as she brought home her favorite personal pieces or swaps with fellow artists. Zoro didn’t know where their old dishes had gone but he suspected a shady back alley hit ending with them buried six feet under. Or she donated them to a thrift store.

The place was practically underground, situated at the back of a building. Zoro had argued with Kuina’s navigating when they parked on a side street instead of in front of the building his phone was indicating, but she had been right (as usual). Its windows were only about half height and still touching the ground. Perona admired what she called “fairy lights” and the old stone garden tables that made up the outside seating. In fact, all of the decorations felt very fairy tale, forgotten by time with its shrubs and flowers and stuff. If they had a few more cobwebs and the sun was down, Perona might have refused to leave. When they walked in, Zoro realized that the place extended into back rooms with scavenged chairs and tables, ratty couches, and writing over every surface, pens provided. It almost looked like two different people had decorated the cafe, one with a pastoral, near gothic style on the outside and one with funkier taste on the inside, giving the whole place an odd, marriage of opposing sensibilities feeling.

There was even a spiral staircase going up which was extremely odd because what kind of cafe had an upstairs when the only windows he had seen were knee high at best?

There was a small TV hanging above what claimed to be a cereal bar to the left of the door, playing old black and white cartoons on loop in a mesmerizing way. The main counter was unstaffed, so Kuina went up and rang the bell and then rang it a couple more times, just because she could.

“Coming!” a voice called from the back. A teen came out from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. She had dark hair, and darker circles under her eyes. 

“Welcome to The Ram’s Heart, what can I get you today?” she asked and then noticed the swords on Zoro and Kuina’s hips. “Are you cosplayers or something?”

“Uh, yeah, something like that.” Zoro said. The barista didn’t seem to be put at ease but looked expectantly for his order anyway.

Kuina went first. “Heyyyy could I get the Black Foot? Oh shit, Zoro, they’ve got paninis! I’ll have a breakfast panini as well. Thanks.”

“I’d like the Raspberry Choco Shoot, please.” Perona ordered.

“And you?” the barista indicated Zoro.

“Uhhh, a minty chai I guess. Also I’ve got this card for a free drink.” He handed her the card.

“Ohhh! You must be new. Right, okay. Do you still want the drinks?” And suddenly the glances at the swords and the concerned look on the barista’s face cleared. The fuck?

“Yeah…?” Zoro gave her a confused look.

“No problem, give me a bit.”

The drinks arrived, Kuina’s a mess of chocolate and whipped cream, which she was delighted by. Zoro hoped the caffeine would keep her going past the sugar crash. Perona’s looked like veins of blood or rubies running through the coffee slush. His own was not as notable on the outside but the mint met the spice nicely when he took a sip. The panini came out last but was the first to disappear into Kuina’s maw, before he even had a chance to finish paying. 

“The stairs are open, but you’ve only got two punches, so only two people can go up,” the barista said as she punched his card and stamped it with [REDEEMED].

The three roommates exchanged glances. Perona put her finger to her nose quickly.

“Not it. You two muscle heads can go without me. I only came for the free drink.” she said as she motioned her hand for the truck keys. Zoro rolled his eyes and handed them to her. If they were about to walk into a den of...whatever these people were, he didn’t want to be trying to keep Perona alive in the process.

Perona left and the two bounty hunters began walking up the spiral stairs. Kuina slurped on her drink loudly.

The stairs led up to a landing with three walls and the fourth entirely taken up by an archway with a heavy black curtain. Zoro switched his drink in his hands, ready to draw his blades at a moment’s notice. He nodded to Kuina as she moved to the other side of the arch, (looking unconcerned as shit, _still_ slurping on her drink) and they pulled the curtain open quickly. He stepped out, ready to fight, and was met with an empty hall. It had a level of normalcy that was almost disturbing, given his expectations of shady smoke-filled mafia rooms. The hallway extended to left and right from their position, with bathrooms doors in front of them. He looked around, Kuina behind him.

“What the fuck is going on here.” Zoro hissed, mostly to himself. Kuina shrugged. His thoughts were interrupted by raucous laughter to the right so he followed it, letting it determine his direction in the hallway. As he got closer he could hear a violin playing. Kuina followed, loudly trying to chase the last dregs of her drink with her straw. The two rounded a corner and found themselves in a restaurant. A really nice looking restaurant with warm lighting and a classy looking bar. 

Zoro’s eyes darted around the room, trying to parse why he was in a restaurant and not some mob boss’s lair. Beyond the empty tables there was a man with an afro in a top hat and suit in the corner playing a violin. The laughter pealed out again and Zoro’s eyes snapped to a man wearing a straw hat (odd for the apparent vibe of the place) who seemed to be the source, slapping his knee with mirth as another man in brown overalls next to him seemed to be telling him a joke. Zoro found it odd that the man in the corner was playing for a floor of two.

The man in the straw hat seemed to notice he was being watched because his eyes met Zoro’s over the empty tables and he abruptly stopped laughing. He tilted his head, appraisingly. A look of recognition came across his face and then he was bursting into laughter again, finger pointed directly at Zoro, convulsing so hard he almost fell backwards off his chair. The man who had been telling the joke realized the laughter was no longer for him and followed the finger with his gaze. He also seemed to recognize Zoro, with decidedly less humor, before abruptly standing and booking it into the kitchen, yelling “Oh shit, BOSS!”

Kuina elbowed him, pulling his attention from the muffled shouting and the crash of falling pots and pans coming from the kitchen.

“Hey Zoro, isn’t that guy with the hat _that guy_?”

“What guy?”

“You know, the guy with the weird name and the really high bounty? Marmite? ...Melon? ......Monkey?”

“Monkey D. Luffy. Fuck, what’s he doing in a place like this?” Zoro couldn’t tell if he was having very bad or very good luck today.

“Maybe he’s hungry.”

“Wanna go after him?” It might be reckless but Zoro knew what to expect in a fight and he was tired of dealing with the unexpected for the day.

“Fuck yeah.” Kuina finished slurping the last bits of her drink and then threw it behind her as she stalked toward Monkey D., hand reaching to her side for her handcuffs, eyes narrowing in absolute focus. Zoro gulped the rest of his down and set it on the floor to follow Kuina. Perona would be appalled but it wasn’t like there was a trashcan nearby and besides, they were about to cause a lot more trouble than a couple of stray cups.

“Monkey D. Luffy! You’re under arrest for crimes against the World Government!”

Monkey D. did not make the usual ‘oh shit’ face Zoro had come to expect from their prey. Instead he grinned and jumped up on the table, yelling, “Catch me if you can!” and then _jumped eight feet vertically into the air to catch onto one of the chandeliers._ What the _fuck?_ Violin Man in the corner began laughing his own, very strange laugh.

Kuina looked back at Zoro, gave him a ‘what can you do?’ look and then climbed onto the bar to get a running jump to the chandelier herself. Zoro was done. He was so totally done with this shit.

“Get down here!” he yelled and he wasn’t sure if it was at Monkey D. or Kuina or both. Monkey D. stuck his tongue out at him as he gained enough momentum to swing to another chandelier. He followed the movement and saw a catwalk running around the walls, decorated in the same style as the rest of the restaurant but not wide enough to set tables on. Shit. He couldn’t see any obvious way of getting up there (except by way of chandelier) but there was a landing against the back wall with a door that he could just see from this angle. The man had an escape route.

He ran to where one of the chandeliers was anchored and cut the rope cleanly with Kitetsu, downing what turned out to be the one closest to him. The chandelier came crashing down, crystal flying into the air. He turned away to protect his eyes. When he looked back, Kuina had made it to the first chandelier and was working to climb onto it while Monkey D. had just flown to the second. He looked mildly hurt that Zoro had cut down the third, as though Zoro wasn’t playing along with a game of tag. Zoro was not playing. 

His neck was craned, eyes locked on Monkey D., ready to catch and grapple the man when he inevitably fell, which was why he didn’t see the foot coming for his head until it was too late. It was accompanied by a yell of rage as it smashed into his face, sending him flying fifteen feet back, crashing into, over, and behind the bar. 

_Fuck_ , that hurt.

He held his head and felt blood starting to seep from his hairline. His nose felt very close to broken, and he could taste more blood coming from his lip. When he got up he saw the kitchen doors swinging in as though someone had just run through them, and then they were violently pushed out as a massive man with electric blue hair came stomping out of the kitchen. This was, presumably, ‘Boss’.

‘YOW! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?” he bellowed. That’s what Zoro wanted to know! He glanced up and Monkey D. had somehow made it to the catwalk landing, scrabbling to hoist himself over the railing. Wado stopped just short of the rope suspending the second chandelier Monkey D. had been hanging from moments before, Kuina’s control precise. She looked down, saw Zoro, and grimaced. They were probably going to have to pay a lot for that one he cut down. And he could feel his headwound beginning to run down his face. Shit.

Mr. Blue Sky (Zoro refused to call him Boss) was making his way towards Zoro, putting on quite the show of menace. Zoro wasn’t convinced. The man slammed his hands on the table and leaned forward.

“Just what the helllll do you think you’re doing to our restaurant?” he demanded.

“That man is wanted and we’re bounty hunters. So. Our fucking jobs.” Zoro glared back.

The man looked severely annoyed but didn’t make to attack.

“You can’t just go on a rampage on private property, bounty hunter! It’s very much not super!” Zoro saw Kuina drop to the floor over the man’s shoulder.

“He’s the one who started swinging from the chandeliers!” Zoro exclaimed.

The fucking violin man in the top hat perked up, winding between tables to join the conversation.

“Yohoho! I love that song! Have you seen the music video?”

Zoro shook his head slowly, in answer and confusion. He chose to ignore Violin Man and turned back to Mr. Blue Sky. “If you’re harboring a known bounty head then we have the right to pursue him on private property.”

“Do you also have the right to destroy expensive chandeliers?”

“....No.” Shit. “Hey, who the fuck kicked me?”

Mr. Blue Sky’s eyes shifted towards the kitchen without moving his head and then back to Zoro. “Uhh, I did.” he lied, obviously.

“Oh! Mr. Franky you’re being summoned to the kitchen!” Violin Man was tapping Mr. Blue Sky on the shoulder.

Franky (apparently) pinched his nose and then pointed at Zoro and then Kuina. “Don’t move.” he said, and retreated to the kitchen. 

Zoro took the opportunity to hop back over the bar, Kuina coming to sit on a stool next to him. He checked his nose to see if it was actually broken. Didn’t seem like it from the pain. Kuina raised her eyebrows as if to say ‘bleeding a lot there’ or maybe ‘we might be kind of fucked.’ Perhaps it was ‘we’re fucked and also you’re bleeding a lot.’ There was more indistinguishable yelling from the kitchen and a loud slam. Franky came back out.

“Okayyy, so, we won’t press charges for the property damage but don’t come back here. Ever.” Franky said. “Otherwise we super _will_ press charges and you will be hearing from our super lawyers.”

Zoro opened his mouth to argue but then thought better of it. A lifetime ban from a restaurant he was never going to eat at anyway was probably worth not having to pay for damages or getting sued. Zoro looked up at where Monkey D. Luffy had escaped to. The man couldn’t spend _all_ his time here. He looked at Kuina and she seemed to have the same thought he did.

“Deal.” he said. 

“Alright.” Kuina nodded.

“Great! Now get the hell out.” Franky said as he clapped his hands once and faux-cheerfully pushed them towards the doors. Just as they were about to exit, Zoro looked back to eye the landing again, but instead found his eye caught by what he could have sworn was a flash of blonde hair disappearing from the window of the kitchen door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The restaurant used to be L'Aubergine Frisee. Thank you to Pauline for identifying that frisee is frizzy and Junemel for figuring out an alternative and then another alternative so now it's a clever layered pun instead of Frankenstein's Monster French.
> 
> Hmmm did I base The Ram's Heart off a cafe that I know and love very much? Are the drinks inspired by the menu but named with reference to characters? Mayhaps!
> 
> Also like, I feel like anyone remotely aware of cosplay as a thing would think "oh they're in costume" first when two people walked in with four swords between them rather than "bounty hunters who use swords as their weapon of choice."
> 
> I have no idea if I did well on Perona’s characterization in this fic. I just really like the idea of Goth Fam and thought she’d be fun to include. I’m sorry if you’re a Perona stan and I’ve terribly miswritten her.
> 
> Comments as you go are SUPERRRRR ✩ appreciated!
> 
> I suppose I should link my tumblr or whatever. I'm over at chikabika.tumblr.com !


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stake out and take out, baby! Old acquaintances give some useful information.

Getting kicked out of the restaurant was not ideal. Nor was Perona’s yelling about getting blood on her dress, which was _an accident, damnit_. Since the restaurant and the cafe were connected, that meant the end of Zoro’s leads regarding the Marimo Mystery as he was calling it in his head. But, a ‘do not harm’ order...did no harm, and therefore could wait. In the meantime, Zoro had a mortgage to pay and Monkey D. Luffy was going to sign the check himself.

The only thing they knew about Monkey D. Luffy was that last year he went head to head with Crocodile and came out alive. The details were always changing, depending on who you asked. Except for Crocodile himself, because no one asked Crocodile and expected to leave that conversation. Period. 

Some said Crocodile had thrown him in a pit of _actual crocodiles_ , others said he had buried him ten feet under the desert. Another story was that they had fought, face to face, and even Crocodile’s kevlar suit and poison and hidden blades weren’t enough to stop the man in the straw hat. No matter what story you heard, everyone agreed on the ending. Crocodile had shown up to a hospital, beaten to all hell, furiously yelling Monkey D.’s name through broken teeth. 

The details didn’t matter. What mattered was that Monkey D. Luffy had survived-had _won-_ an encounter with Crocodile, and then disappeared. Or maybe he had just gotten better at not getting caught. His bounty had skyrocketed-Crocodile _was_ the head of a major crime syndicate, after all, and the government did not like disruptions of power in organized crime-and no bounty hunter had been able to get anywhere close to finding him.

Until now. Zoro and Kuina had just won the jackpot and all they needed to do was cash in.

So, they began the boring task of gathering information (and for Zoro, healing his almost-broken nose). Mr. Blue Sky Franky had said they weren’t allowed back at the restaurant, but he never said anything about the surrounding area. So they staked the place out in the truck, taking shifts sleeping. Zoro hated this part of the job, both because the two of them started to smell if it went past a couple days, and, more importantly, because it meant he didn’t get to sleep when he wanted to. Which was especially annoying since he had been hit in the face, because sleeping was his preferred medical treatment. Kuina was a terrible fidgeter, but could hyperfocus like no other and caught any movement in or out of the building. Mostly it was paying customers.

The only things Monkey D. seemed to leave for were a couple of trips to an art gallery. He would leave the restaurant, seemingly without schedule, and take a _bus_ to his destination. A million dollar man on public transit; Zoro couldn’t believe he hadn’t been caught yet.

“What, does he like to look at shitty old paintings or something?” Zoro had asked.

“Zoro they _definitely_ won’t let us take our swords in there.” Kuina had said.

Zoro was almost more worried about them not letting them take their swords _out._ When they hazarded touring (sans swords) the small area of the building that was currently open, he got the feeling that this kind of collection didn’t come together through strictly legal means. It looked a little like Crocodile’s collection, expensive and specific. Their four swords were all named, precious to them personally, but also recognized the world over for their quality. The gallery had seemed like it was setting up for something and with all that equipment and all those people moving around, a few named swords could disappear quickly and quietly.

They followed Monkey D. for a week. The only time he wasn’t in the restaurant, he was on a bus or in the gallery. The restaurant was obviously a no-go. Attacking him on the bus seemed ill-advised (they had a high chance of committing a federal crime, and being a bounty hunter did not protect you from that sort of thing like being a cop did). The gallery not only posed a threat to their swords but the guards were subtly, yet heavily armed. Trying to catch the man there seemed most likely to end in Zoro and Kuina filled with lead and empty handed.

* * *

So, they went to Crocodile. Well, they didn’t go to _Crocodile_. The two were reckless but they weren’t suicidal. Mr. One was Zoro’s last resort. Not especially because he was worried about it being dangerous-though it certainly was-to go to Crocodile’s right hand man for information about his sworn enemy. It was more that this was not their relationship. Zoro and he were sparring partners, not informants.

The three of them had met when Crocodile offered the two bounty hunters a job as one of his power duos. It was not uncommon for bounty hunters to lend their services as guards or hitters, blurring the hard line of the law. But Kuina had refused on the grounds of not wanting to be called Ms. Day-of-the-Week and Zoro had said he wasn’t a damn hitman. And of course, they were a package deal. If one said ‘no,’ that spoke for them both.

Every now and then, when Zoro was tired of almost dying from Kuina’s blows and Mr. One was in the area or wanted to fight someone who wasn’t shit like everyone below him on the food pyramid in Crocodile’s organization, Zoro and he would spar. The man fought like an MMA fighter with swords, like his body was made of them and not the flesh and bone it really was.

He was surprisingly amenable and luckily in town to meet to exchange information. Zoro had expected he would ask him to buy the man a round at a bar as payment or something, but instead he had invited them to one of Crocodile’s estates.

So here they were, sitting in a receiving room filled with Alabastan art, trying to not get the white couches dirty in case it meant being in debt to the mob. Zoro and Kuina knew better than to enter visibly armed, so they left their swords in the truck when they entered the compound. Security was heavy and both were checked for hidden weapons. They found nothing on Zoro (he really was unarmed) and one on Kuina. She definitely had more hidden in various places; her motto was “one for them to find, the rest for me to cut their throats” which got kind of expensive when she had to replace the ones taken, so she stuck to cheap department store knives. A quality blade was nice, but in Kuina’s hands, a damn teaspoon could be deadly.

Kuina’s knee was bouncing up and down from boredom and Zoro was worried she was going to spill the drink she had been served.

“Oh my god either stop your knee or hand me your drink.” he muttered. She opted to hand him her drink and then pull his hand to her face when she wanted some. Absolutely shameless.

Mr. One came into the room and sat at the couch across from them. He gave Zoro an odd look for holding two drinks but thankfully did not ask him to explain.

“Shimotsuki. Roronoa. You said you are pursuing Monkey D. Luffy.” Straight to the point. It was what Zoro liked about Mr. One: he didn’t waste time on formalities.

Zoro saw Kuina begin to lean towards him for another gulp of her drink and hastily put both down on the coffee table before she could embarrass him in front of the man.

“Right. We don’t have any leads, all we know is that he’s visited an art gallery a couple of times and otherwise hangs out at a restaurant. We think he lives in the building above it since he _never leaves_.” said Zoro.

“Which gallery?”

“Little Garden.” said Kuina.

“As we thought. Little Garden is one of a number of galleries that have partnered up for a tour of one of the most coveted pieces of art in history: _Portgas_. We think Monkey D. and his crew plan to steal it.”

“His crew?” Zoro asked. He looked at Kuina and she shook her head. Neither of them had heard of Monkey D. Luffy working with anyone.

“Yes. They have made a reputation for themselves going after people like Mr. Crocodile.” said Mr. One.

_People who think they’re above the law_ , thought Zoro.

“Luckily for you, Mr. Crocodile has a plan to catch him.”

“He does? What does he get out of it?” Kuina asked.

“You heard about what happened between the two of them, right?” Mr. One asked. The bounty hunters nodded. “Well, that is not the whole story. Monkey D. was not working alone then either. His crew stole a very important item _and_ Mr. Crocodile’s left hand woman.”

Zoro thought about how people aren’t property you can steal and was glad they didn’t take the job offer.

“Crocodile wants us to take out Monkey D. because he wants revenge.” Kuina said. Mr. One nodded.

“Mr. Crocodile has a friend. He is in charge of security for each of the shows in which _Portgas_ will appear. If you are interested, he has set up an arrangement in which you two will work security for the remainder of the tour stops. In exchange, you are free to pursue Monkey D. if he shows up. You will also be compensated for your time even if he does not.”

“How did he get his friend to agree to this?” Zoro asked. It seemed too good to be true.

“Your reputations precede you. Your proficiency as fighters is well known, as is your reluctance to work as hired muscle, therefore your services are a rare opportunity. It benefits Mr. Crocodile to have a friend with military connections who owes him a favor or to whom he owes one. You guarding _Portgas_ would certainly be a favor. And, his friend has no feelings of amity towards Monkey D. nor his crew,” Mr. One counted off. “Take your pick.”

“So basically in exchange for us being dogs we get to hunt whatever bone we want.” Zoro summed up.

“If you want to put it that way, sure.”

“How long is this contract supposed to last?” Kuina asked.

“That is up to you but Mr. Crocodile suggested until you catch Monkey D. or until the tour is over.”

Zoro grimaced. He did not want to be under contract any longer than he had to, and by Kuina’s face, she didn’t either.

“Well, if we stop liking it, we can always leave. Not like we couldn’t handle anyone they sent after us.” Kuina said. Zoro agreed but wasn’t especially keen on Mr. One hearing it. Though, he did appreciate she didn’t say it in Japanese because speaking in a language your mob host didn’t understand was just asking for trouble.

Mr. One snorted. “That is one way to look at it. Here is the contact information for Mr. Crocodile’s friend.” Mr. One slid a business card on the table. Zoro took it. What was with shady people and business cards? “His name is Buggy. Do not mention his nose if you choose to work with him.”

“Should we expect anyone you know coming after us if we decline?” Zoro asked.

“No. Mr. Crocodile has assured me that this is merely an offer of mutual benefit, not an expectation. Do note, though, that you will be unable to pursue Monkey D. freely at the gallery unless you are under the employ of Buggy.”

“Right.” Zoro said, trying to hide his skepticism. Even if he and Mr. One had a somewhat friendly relationship, he did not doubt for a second where the man’s loyalties lay. Nor did he trust him to not deceive Zoro if those were his orders. “Well, thank you.”

“You are welcome. Let me see you to the gate.”

The three of them rose and exited. Kuina got her knife back. As they were about to leave the compound, Mr. One stopped Zoro.

“As a favor to you, because of our history, I want to warn you. Watch out for the All Blue.”

“The what?”

“The All Blue. It is the brains behind their operation. It makes Monkey D.’s crew better than the sum of their parts. No one knows if it is one person or some sort of AI their hackers came up with or what. But there are no pictures and no trace of it. It showed up one day out of the blue,” Mr. One smiled slightly at his own joke, “and suddenly untouchable people did not know what hit them. If All Blue finds out you are going after Monkey D., you will not know you are in the deep end until you are already drowning.”

Zoro doubted it was _that_ big of a deal. Apparently Mr. One could read his expression.

“Seriously Roronoa. Keep your eye out. I do not want to lose my only decent sparring partner.” He gave Zoro a serious look. Well, more serious than usual.

“You could always spar with her.” Zoro pointed his thumb back at Kuina who was engrossed in picking at any hangnails she could find. Gross.

“Roronoa. I consider myself unbeatable, but if I were to fight Shimotsuki even I would die.”

“Ha. Fair enough. Thanks for the info.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Daz Bones would speak real formal but all I remember about him is being kind of haughty about being Made of Blade.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marimo origins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short one, folks!

It did not take much discussion to decide to take Crocodile’s offer.

“We don’t have any other way of going after him.” Kuina had said.

“I don’t want this Buggy guy thinking he owns us.” Zoro had said.

“We can handle him just like we can handle anyone else.” Kuina had said. That wasn’t exactly what Zoro had meant, but it was good enough.

Kuina said she would call the number and take care of the details. Zoro was thankful. He felt...preoccupied. The past couple of weeks had been bringing back thoughts and feelings he was not particularly interested in having.

As Zoro waited to fall asleep his mind wandered. If Monkey D. was part of a crew, and spent all of his time at the place where the robber’s wallet had led him, perhaps the two were connected. Maybe Zoro could solve the Marimo Mystery and catch a huge bounty like Monkey D. and tie everything up neatly in a bow.

Zoro remembered the first time that name had been applied to him. When h-...when  _ He _ …...when.......Sanji. God, Zoro had put so much effort into letting that name slip through his mind so he wouldn’t have to remember things like what he was remembering right now: when Sanji had called him Marimo for the first time. 

Sanji had been taking Japanese as an elective in 8th grade. He had told Zoro he wanted to be able to insult him in more than English and French. Zoro had said he could just look up swears online. Sanji had said that was too easy. He didn’t want to be limited by just swears, he wanted it to be ‘special’. Anyone could look up a couple swears, it took dedication to figure out how to exactingly take someone down in a culturally specific way. And Sanji already had a handle on the French insults.

One day, when they were hanging out at Sanji’s house, he had draped himself over the back of the couch and also Zoro a little bit, as he was wont to do.

“Heyyyy Zorooo. You’ll  _ never _ guess what I learned today.” he drawled.

Zoro could feel trouble coming. “What.” he said, shrugging Sanji off without breaking his gaze from his book, ignoring the familiar twinge in his chest at the touch.

“A distant relative of yours came up in class.”

Zoro was pretty sure he wasn’t related to anyone of historical note.

“The resemblance was honestly so striking I almost texted you right then and there. I mean, I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me your family was  _ famous _ .” Sanji continued, feigning casual.

“Oh my god, out with it. I’m busy.” He was not busy, but Sanji was having too much fun with this.

“Oh, don’t be like that. I just thought you’d be happy to know your extended family hasn’t been forgotten.” The innocent face became a wicked grin. “Marimo.”

Zoro looked up in shock and Sanji’s lips curled into a smirk.

“What was that?”

“You heard me. Porche was doing a presentation and littered the slides with these little green balls because as you know she thinks fluffy round things are cute. And I thought to myself ‘wow those look just like a certain téte verte I know.’ You didn’t tell me you had such a prolific number of relatives,  _ Marimo-chan _ .” 

“Shut up.” Zoro growled.

“Mmmmm no.” Sanji smirked again, delighted that he had gotten under Zoro’s skin.

And then Zoro was lunging for him to make him shut up and Sanji was running away cackling, getting a head start as Zoro’s feet got caught between couch cushions. Zeff yelled at them for getting mud on his floors when they came in from fighting in the backyard.

Sanji ended up switching to high level French classes in high school to improve his fluency past the casual and swear-filled speech that filled Zeff’s home and kitchen, but the nickname stuck.

Sanji called him Marimo  _ incessantly _ . When Kuina first heard it she laughed right along with Sanji. But when they were alone she had asked Zoro if he thought Sanji knew what he was saying.

“He just thinks he’s found a clever way of calling me moss head.” he had replied noncommittally. Kuina didn’t need to know there was a reason Zoro hadn’t corrected him.

  
Technically, Sanji  _ had  _ found a clever way of calling him a moss head. Zoro assumed it must be the only intended meaning. Because surely Sanji would not be calling him Marimo if he knew that they were tokens of love and affection, that they were supposed to be the manifestation of the souls of two lovers whose desire to be with each other outweighed their obligations and attachments to their families and people. That they meant everlasting love. That would have meant Sanji returned Zoro’s feelings. And now, Zoro thought bitterly, surely Sanji could not have meant it that way because if he had, then they wouldn’t be where they were today. Separated and silent.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit's going down!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No you didn't misremember a post. The last chapter is so short I immediately guilted myself into this one. Enjoy!

The night of their first job with Buggy, Perona caught them as they were heading out the door. 

“You two are  _ not _ going looking like  _ that _ , are you?”

They looked at eachother. Zoro didn’t think they looked...bad, per say. They were definitely wearing their cleanest clothes and neither of them had any brands or graphics on their shirts. Even his face was looking better, only his nose showing any evidence of injury. Kuina shrugged at her, also unconcerned about their appearance.

“You don’t have  _ anything else _ that you could wear?  _ Nothing _ formal? Didn’t you ever go to a job interview or something?!” Perona looked just a little bit desperate.

The two bounty hunters looked at her. They looked at each other. They looked at their swords. They looked back at Perona.

“I’ve only done manual labor or worked at the dojo.” Zoro said.

“I've never applied for a job in my life.” Kuina said over him, apparently offended that Perona would suggest she ask anyone to hire her.

Perona dragged her hands down her face. “You two are hopeless. Okay, Kuina, with me. I must have something that will fit you. Zoro,  _ go take another look _ .” She pointed to his room. He almost felt threatened and made a face of pleasant surprise to himself. Maybe he and Kuina were having a positive influence. He shut his door on Perona dragging a hissing and spitting Kuina up the stairs.

He did more than a cursory search through his closet this time, reaching to the sides past the doorframe where clothes tended to hide themselves. And then he found it. It was a suit ( _ the _ suit), certainly too small, tailored as it had been to his teenage frame. Not that he hadn’t been muscular then, but he had filled out and bulked up in the intervening years.

Sanji had insisted on being there when Zoro picked it out. He claimed that someone only interested in swordfighting knew shit all about suits. Zoro wouldn’t tell him out loud that he was right. But. He was right.

It had been for prom. The idea was to go together because neither one of them had a date. Zoro had been surprised when Sanji suggested it. He had assumed the ladies’ man would have asked out half the school already. But Sanji had said something about not wanting to break any hearts by choosing just one beautiful angel to take as his date so he was doing Zoro a favor instead and going with him. Zoro hadn’t even planned on going in the first place. Prom wasn’t exactly at the top of his priorities. But then Sanji had said what he did and Zoro was not about to say no. 

He had planned to wear whatever he could find in his closet that wouldn’t get him kicked out. But Sanji had insisted on a suit, telling him that he was not about to be embarrassed in front of the whole school by some shitty marimo in black cargo pants and a white polo (how did he even know that was Zoro’s plan?). So they saved up money, Zoro doing odd jobs and Sanji earning tips at his dad’s restaurant waiting tables. If he was in the kitchen Zeff claimed it as free labor, so waiting tables it was. The suits they got were on the cheaper end (they were teenagers after all), but Sanji went at them with needle and thread and got them looking halfway decent. Zoro’s had taken a particular amount of effort because the one Sanji had insisted on was only available a few sizes up because Sanji had also insisted on going to a store and refused to buy their suits online. Zoro remembered the feeling of him poking and prodding as he tucked the fabric for alteration, ‘accidentally’ stabbing Zoro with a pin when he wouldn’t stand still.

Sani had tried to teach him to dance when slow music had come on. Even if Zoro had been a dancer, he would have had no chance of coordination when Sanji put his hand on his waist and smiled softly at him. Like he was asking Zoro to trust him. Zoro was long past the point of needing to be asked. They danced. Or tried to. It worked for a bit but Zoro kept stepping on Sanji’s feet and then they knocked heads when he tried to watch his own and the ‘dancing’ became more like fighting. Which was familiar and comfortable and did not negate those moments when Zoro had given up control and let Sanji drive where they would go.

A  _ thump _ from above interrupted his thoughts and then stomping down the stairs, another set of feet following quickly behind it. The stomping got to his door and the banging almost broke it in.

“LET’S GO, FROG MAN, I’M NOT STAYING IN THIS A SECOND LONGER THAN I HAVE TO!” Kuina bellowed at him.

He swung his door open to find an angry, fidgety Kuina in a black dress with enough lace that she looked like a Victorian ghost. 

“God it’s so  _ itchy _ .” Kuina was squirming, trying to scratch an elusive itch that seemed to be anywhere the dress was touching.

“It was the only one I wasn’t worried she would rip apart at the first chance. My mom gave it to me but it’s not really my style so if she does destroy it, it’s not a huge deal. Well, to me. Kuina knows what’ll happen. Plus the combat boots don’t totally ruin it.” Perona was leaning against the wall behind Kuina. She was probably right. The dress flared at the waist some and was shorter in the front so Kuina would be able to run and jump freely. Plus it had thick straps leading into the flexible bodice instead of sleeves so she wouldn’t be restricted in her arm movement nor constantly worried about it falling down. If she didn’t look so uncomfortable Zoro might have thought she looked kind of badass, especially with the distinctive scar on her neck getting shown off.

“Were the gauntlets necessary?” he asked.

Perona shrugged. “Well, it was either more lace, or makeup, and-”

“And absolutely NO makeup! I hate the feeling of shit on my face, ugh.” Kuina cut in.

“And what about you? You haven’t changed.” Perona pushed herself off the wall, leaning on Kuina’s shoulder with her chin.

“Uh, well. I found something but I need your help. How fast can you make this bigger?” He handed over the suit. He knew she altered her own clothes sometimes. He hoped she knew enough to make this work tonight.

Perona gave him a look until he realized it sounded like he had just asked her to do the impossible.

“It, uh. It was actually taken in before, I just need you to rip the seams out for me.” Zoro really didn’t want her asking why he had a suit that was too small for him in his closet when she knew damn well that he wouldn’t have fit into something that size for years.

“Oh, okay. Yeah I can do it pretty fast, but it’s not going to look tailored or anything.” she said.

“That’s fine, whatever.”

The end result was passable. He fit, which was the important part. Thank goodness Sanji hadn’t insisted on a tux. Zoro would have looked ridiculous. As it was, he had to leave the dress shirt unbuttoned down to the top of the vest because his chest was too big now. He had enough movement in his arms and legs that he wasn’t worried about ripping more seams than Perona and he felt a little intimidating dressing in all black. He glanced at the tie but decided to forgo it due to his unfortunate chest situation. He exited his room, ready to go.

“Oh god! Zoro! Put those things away!” Kuina yelled shielding her face with her hand.

“What?” Zoro looked around. His swords were sheathed.

“Your tits! You’re going to poke someone’s eye out!”

“Oh my god shut up. This is not the first time you’ve seen my pecs. Deal with it.” he grumbled.

“Well, at least we’ll both look weird tonight.” Kuina said, slapping him on the back as they headed out the door. 

* * *

“You’re late! And you look like you just robbed a Hot Topic!” Buggy yelled at them when they arrived. Shit they had blown it. “Just add some chokers and ear-well no you’re already wearing the earrings. But, I do like a flashy entrance, so take a seat.” Or maybe they hadn’t?

“Alright let’s get a head count.” said one of Buggy’s lackeys.

“What was that about red mount?!? Are you trying to say my nose looks like it was mounted on my face like a trophy animal’s head?!?” Buggy demanded. That was a bit of a stretch, Zoro thought.

They sat through the presentation for security that Buggy had prepared. Zoro tried his best to stay focused but the man got derailed by questions and false accusations of mocking his nose too many times. Which Zoro was confused by because wasn’t the man wearing a clown nose by choice?

It turned out, Buggy had decided to position Kuina and Zoro as the guards of the main attraction itself. It would give them the best chance of catching sight of Monkey D. and Buggy apparently wanted to make the most of this ‘rare opportunity to use [them]’. All of security took a tour of the building before moving to their designated stations.

Everything about Little Garden was massive, as though it had been built for giants. Not just the entrance which Zoro and Kuina had already seen, but the interior doors, the hallways, even the elevators. Everything had an extra few feet of height. Zoro realized when they entered the massive main showroom that this was due to the permanent art. Whether it be sculptures, paintings, or even some fiber arts, everything was made way out of scale. One piece even embraced the theme, a giant’s dining set with the dishware attached to the underside of the table and the silverware hanging like mobiles. He had no idea what it was supposed to symbolize.

* * *

Guarding a painting in an art gallery full of stuffy rich people was not especially exciting. Kuina had already begun attacking the hors d'oeuvres table across from them, partly from boredom and partly from hunger. He kept an eye on her as she moved to the far side of the table, shifting in and out of sight when she passed behind the decorative vases and bouquets occupying its middle. She made her way back to him with a tiny dessert plate doing its best to accommodate the tower of food Kuina had piled on top of it.

“You didn’t eat  _ all _ the food, right? I don’t think Buggy will like this arrangement as much if you eat him out of house and home.” Zoro said as she took her up her station again.

“Oh please, that guy is scary rich. Anyway, I left half the stuff there for other people.” Kuina said, unconcerned.   
  
“Kuina that table is supposed to feed three hundred people tiny-ass bites of food.”

“Yeah, and? Now they can just eat even smaller bites. Makes it more exclusive that way.”

Zoro snorted.

They stood in comfortable silence while Kuina ate. Occasionally she would pass him a bite of this or that. Guests would approach now and then to get a look at the painting but most seemed discouraged from lingering. Those who weren’t tried to make small talk with him or Kuina, and one memorable guest straight up ogled his chest instead of the painting. He was decidedly not interested. Luckily they scurried off when he made that abundantly clear. The comfortable silence returned, occasionally interrupted by radio chatter in their security earbuds.

“Hey, do you think this is worth it?”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Kuina said, cheeks full with the last of the food from her little plate.

“I mean. I started bounty hunting to chase who I wanted when I wanted.”

“And to fight strong people.” Kuina added.

“Yeah, that too. And yeah, we’ve caught some pretty awful people. But more and more it feels like the ones worth catching aren’t within our reach given that we’re just two people with a truck, four swords, and unending stubbornness. It started as a good way to make money while fighting strong people and catching shitty ones without being tethered to anything. And a way to keep training so I can finally beat you, but...” he trailed off.

“Pshh, you’re not gonna beat me, no matter how many people you fight.”

“Yeah you just keep thinking that.” He was distracted for a moment by a raising of voices from the other side of the refreshments. He couldn’t quite see past the outrageous floral decorations so he kept an ear out in case they had to intervene.

“Anyway, what I meant was, is bounty hunting worth it when right now we’ve stooped to working for a guy like Buggy?”

“I mean it’s definitely not worth having to wear this dress for more than one night. But I’m in it because I like fighting, I like getting money to fight, I like fighting with you, and I like my independence. There are other ways I could make money fighting but they’re either contracts or so shady they might try to kill me if I stopped.” Kuina shrugged. They both knew she wasn’t blasé about her possible death, it was that she didn’t feel the need to worry about it when she wasn’t in that situation. “We haven’t turned anyone in that didn’t deserve it. Though, Monkey D. has a weird reputation so we’ll have to see with him. Bounty hunting works for me but it’s not the only thing that would. It’s just what I’m doing right now.”

“Yeah…” Zoro trailed off, considering her words.

“Hey! Don’t eat all the food you shitty glutton!” A voice yelling behind the garish flowers broke his train of thought.

And then a body was flying over the table, towards them and the painting they were supposed to protect.

“Oh my god!” Kuina yelled.

“Shit!” Zoro said as he put himself between the body and the painting, ready to catch whoever it was.

But the flying figure landed just short of them. Zoro could see another person coming around the table, a man in a suit with blonde hair who was spinning towards Kuina with hearts in his eyes.

“Mademessoile! My apologies for disturbing you! I heard your beautiful voice call out in distress and ran here as soon as I could! Please, allow me to offer my life as recompense!” he swooned, kneeling in front of her.

Two things happened at once.

First: the now-grounded figure got up, dusted itself off, and whined “But I didn’t, Sanji! I only ate half! The rest was already gone.” while donning a straw hat. It was Monkey D. Luffy.

Second: at the same time he realized he was looking at their elusive mark, Zoro’s eyes shot to the other man at hearing the name. And suddenly his brain rearranged the features he was looking at and standing in front of him was  _ Sanji _ . The man (and he was a  _ man _ now, not a scrawny teen) looked a bit different. He had a small, neatly trimmed goatee. His hair was parted to the other side. Zoro noticed his eyebrow and realized they both curled the same way which felt like a ludicrous thing to put together at a time like this.

Their eyes met. Sanji seemed to be just as gobsmacked as him, clocking his swords at his side and the security badge clipped to his lapel. Zoro’s gaze flitted to Kuina as she lunged past Sanji for Monkey D. standing between them who wisely dodged. Her movement seemed to shake Sanji out of his stupor. He stood and marched to Zoro, grabbing him by the lapelles. Even after all these years he could remember what the peak of anger looked like on the other man’s face. This was far beyond that. He was  _ seething _ .

“I can’t believe you, I can’t  _ fucking _ believe you, you’re wearing  _ that suit _ , and you’re fucking standing in  _ my way _ wearing  _ that suit. _ WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT SUIT I’M GOING TO  _ KILL YOU!” _ Sanji yelled.

Zoro was frozen to the spot. 

He opened his mouth to respond, with what, he did not know. Perhaps ‘hi.’ He was cut off by Sanji breaking eye contact, jerking his head to the side and Zoro recognized the tilt of someone listening to an earpiece.

Sanji let go roughly. “I’ll deal with you later.” he practically spat at Zoro.

“Fuck off curlybrow.” Zoro retorted. The insult was a knee-jerk reaction and it seemed to shock Sanji like a shot. It wasn’t his best comeback but much better than trying to address anything Sanji had just said or asking why he was here in the first place.

Before Sanji had a chance to respond Kuina was yelling, “ZORO! HE’S GETTING AWAY!” as she vaulted the food table, crashing through decorative vases and massive flowers in the most direct path between her and their prey.

Zoro gave chase before Sanji could stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between the two of them, Kuina and Luffy finished the whole refreshments table.
> 
> Also I am lowkey obsessed with making fun of Zoro for his bara tiddies at all times. Lovingly, because I wouldn't want him any other way.


	6. Chapter 6

Zoro luckily had the wherewithal to tell Buggy they had a visual confirmation on Monkey D. and needed someone to take over their stations guarding  _ Portgas _ . His men still got in their way as they tried to catch the large bounty for their boss, but Kuina and Zoro slashed (non-lethally) through them in their pursuit. Monkey D. led them on a chase out of the main gallery following a path weaving between pieces of art, forcing the bounty hunters to slow their pace to avoid racking up a debt to the museum. When he climbed atop the giant’s table Zoro was sorely tempted to cut it down anyway, not wanting to deal with climbing the ridiculously large chairs or sheer table legs. Guests screamed and yelled in surprise, heavy porcelain shaking above the heads of those admiring the table from below. Before he could decide one way or the other, Monkey D. was already sailing off the other side, over Kuina who had run to trap him. Monkey D. landed and beelined for an ‘Employees Only’ door which Zoro knew for a fact only opened with an access key. He didn’t hesitate, nor was he slowed by the supposedly locked door, bursting through it into a service hall that led to a stairwell. They chased him, taking the stairs down two at a time as Monkey D. laughed, skipping whole flights. He ran out at the basement door, which again, was supposed to be locked, and again, he was not slowed in the least. He either had the devil’s luck or someone was helping him.

“Don’t lose sight of him!” Kuina yelled as she made it to the bottom first, fumbling with her access key before pushing through the same door. 

“I know I know!” Zoro followed right behind her.

Across the extra wide hallway, they saw the doors closing on Monkey D. in an elevator that had arrived far too quickly. They sprinted towards him, catching the doors just as they slid closed on their fingers.

“Fuck!” Kuina yelled. They forced the elevator doors open, straining against the motor trying to keep the doors closed. Weren’t there safety mechanisms to prevent people from getting caught like this?

They got the doors open and rushed into the elevator. 

Which was empty. 

Zoro and Kuina swiveled their heads, trying to figure out just how Monkey D. had disappeared on them when they were startled by a voice several feet above them.

“Hey! Do you want to join us?” Monkey D. popped his head through an opening in the ceiling.

“Do we what?!” “What the fuck?” They shouted simultaneously, their eyes shooting up at the sound.

“Do you want to join us?” Monkey D. repeated.

“Why would you want us to join you? We’re trying to catch your ass.” Zoro said, pointing his sword up at Monkey D.’s face.

“Because you’re both super strong and it’s awesome that you use three swords and  _ you _ have a cool scar on your neck,” he pointed at Kuina, “and Sanji says you’re both good people! Oh, hold on a sec,” Monkey D.’s head disappeared from the service hatch. It appeared again a moment later. “Nami said I had to give you this if I was going to keep recruiting people when I’m about to escape.” he dropped a bent and frayed business card down to them. And then the head disappeared and did not reappear.

“About to escape, my ass…” Zoro growled as Kuina vaulted him up through the hole to see Monkey D. finishing strapping a harness to himself. Zoro pulled himself up and lunged but Monkey D. cleanly dodged, laughing like it was all a fun game. 

“Whoa! You’re pretty funny!” he chuckled as he did something to the rope attached to his harness and then he was flying up and away out of Zoro’s grasp. As he stared in disbelief at their target hurtling  _ up _ the elevator shaft his thoughts caught up to him.

“Wait, he talks about us?!”

“DUH!” Monkey D.’s voice echoed back, just as he was swallowed by the darkness above.

_ Fuck _ , Zoro thought.

“Fuck!” He yelled, to himself now.

Realizing there was no way he was going to catch up by hand and not wanting to risk making a Monkey D. Luffy pancake with the elevator, he dropped back down into the elevator cabin. Fuck. Targets didn’t usually have the kinds of resources to hijack an elevator cable to escape. And yes, sometimes they tried to buy out the bounty hunters or bribe them, but recruitment efforts were rarely so casual and friendly when someone was cornered. He had to admit the novelty was refreshing. He looked up to where he had dropped from. How had Monkey D. gotten up there on his own? Though, this  _ was _ the man who had jumped to grab a chandelier with no running start. Apparently he just had a fucking eight foot vertical leap. 

“Lost him.” he said.

“I can see that.”

Kuina picked up the business card Monkey D. had dropped.

“Hey, what do you think it is with criminals and business cards?” she asked him as she examined it.

“Fuck if I know.” Damn. This might have been their only chance to catch Monkey D. and now he knew they were pursuing him. 

* * *

They finished the night out at their post and went home. Buggy had not been  _ especially _ happy about his men getting beat up but no one was missing any art, either, so they still had the opportunity of the next showing. He even gave them a check for that night, telling them to buy better clothes for next time.

Zoro was emotionally exhausted. He fell into bed face first, thoughts replaying the night and then catching himself and pushing the thoughts away. He really  _ really _ did not want to deal with this.

* * *

Sanji had recieved a full ride scholarship to a culinary school in France after graduating high school. Zoro started working part time at the Shimotsuki dojo. They kept in touch through letters. Zoro had asked why they couldn’t just do email but Sanji had said he liked the romance of letter writing. Plus, his access to the internet was limited and it meant they didn’t have to coordinate sleep schedules to have continuous conversations. So they wrote letters. Sanji would include photos or doodles of the foods he was making. Zoro would keep him up to date on the students’ progress. Sanji’s letters arrived on different stationery every time, pages long as Sanji not only responded to everything Zoro wrote but added new thoughts and topics. Zoro enjoyed them, but his favorite letters were the ones that came in the form of the more frequent postcards, hastily scrawled notes throughout the day, stained with food, as though Zoro was there, present for the small moments of life. 

Besides his dojo job, Zoro filled the rest of his time with any work he could find. After a year, he saved up enough to visit. It was both the best and worst two weeks of his life. He felt euphoric, finally breathing the same air as his best friend. But Sanji still had school, so Zoro had to entertain himself. Which wasn’t hard, but he tended to get lost in the foreign city, and only knew bits and pieces of the language from his time in Zeff’s house. When classes ended for the day, their time was mostly spent with Sanji’s new friends. Zoro felt like he’s falling behind, like he was floundering, directionless, while Sanji was pursuing his dreams and a career. It felt like Sanji’s life was moving forward, diverging from his, and it hurt. It felt like his heart was being torn, coming apart as easily as the bread Sanji baked for him.

So he did the only thing he knew how, he fought. He baited and goaded Sanji, trying to get his attention, trying to reaffirm some understanding between them, until the other young man was confronting him about his behavior and he felt backed into a corner, not used to this kind of response. Perhaps he had baited too far. And then Sanji found out that he’d started bounty hunting and the fight felt different, like they had unsheathed their blades and begun cutting for keeps.

The important part was this.

Sanji didn’t like him risking his life. Zoro said he wanted to fight strong people and this was a way to get paid doing it. Sanji said he was no better than a cop. Zoro said he  _ was _ better than a cop because he wasn’t literally a cop. Sanji said he was supporting the same system that cops did. Zoro said it wasn’t the same because he got to choose who he went after and didn’t have to follow any rules. Sanji said cops didn’t have to follow rules either so he might as well become a fucking pig. At least he’d be useful when Sanji cut him into bacon. It devolved into personal attacks.

It ended with two young men at an ethical impasse.

The letters did not continue when Zoro got home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a bowl breaks, how do you put it back together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness on this one!  
> I've been reading the comments and I'm so glad y'all are excited to see what happens next! It's really nice to know that what I've written is engaging enough to spark curiosity. And also that it sparks some painful heart twinges mwahahaha!
> 
> Thank you and I hope you'll stick around until the end!

He didn’t know why he called. He was curious, maybe. If nothing else, maybe he could get some info out of Monkey D. to help them catch him. The guy seemed just happy-go-lucky enough to accidentally reveal important information.

“Oh! Zoro! You called!” Monkey D. said when he picked up.

“Uh, yeah.” Zoro rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

“ _ Luffy! Why the hell is the Marimo calling your recruiting phone?” _ a woman’s voice in the background yelled.

“Because you said I had to give my card out to people if I wanted to recruit them so Usopp didn’t have to track them down! I gave him my card!” Monkey D. called back at someone in the room, presumably the woman.

“ _ Yeah but not  _ Marimo _!!! He’s off limits! _ ” the woman yelled.

“Well how was I supposed to know that?”

_ “BECAUSE THAT’S LIKE THE ONE RULE YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW!” _

Zoro held the phone away from his ear.

When he put it back he heard a shuffling like the phone was changing hands and then a sigh that did not sound like Monkey D. In fact, it sounded a lot like a sigh Zoro was quite familiar with.

“Oi, shitty swordsman, it’s me. Come by, we should talk.” Sanji said.

“Why the hell would I want to talk?” Zoro bit out.

“Why the hell did you call Luffy?”

“I don’t fucking know!”

“I’ll text you the address from this phone. Knowing you, you wouldn’t be able to make it back here on your own.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”   
  


“It means you have a shitty sense of direction!” Sanji said and hung up.

A moment later Zoro got a text with an address from a blocked number. Zoro filled Kuina in on the conversation and showed her the address. 

“Hey, isn’t that right next to that cafe we went to before?” she asked.

“Goddamn it, why does it all have to be fucking connected back to him?”

“Maybe it’s fate,” Kuina said around a mouthful of midday cereal.

“Fate isn’t like some destiny bullshit, like things are supposed to happen a certain way. It’s not a higher power. It’s like, accepting things as they are”

“Okay so the way things are is that he’s back in your life. Accept it. You still have agency. You get to choose how you respond to it. I mean, you could avoid it and shit, but that’s not especially like you.”

“I don’t know if I can handle seeing him again. I-he-” Zoro didn’t know how to finish.

Kuina put her hand over his on the dining table.

“You know I had feelings for him, right?” Zoro asked.

“Bro, how could I  _ not _ know? You were so painfully obvious only someone as oblivious as Sanji could miss it.”

Zoro huffed. “It was more than that though. I mean. Other than you, he was probably my most significant relationship. And it ended. And it fucking hurt.”

“I know.”

“I don’t even know what we would talk about that wouldn’t be a repeat of our last argument. Or we could ignore the issue which would honestly be worse. There is this  _ rift  _ that never got fixed and I don’t know if it can be.”

“Well, you know my attitude towards mending rifts.” Kuina said, giving a significant look to the bowl that held her cereal. It was blue with white polka dots. It had a web of gold lacquer filling the cracks and joining the pieces where they had broken apart from some forgotten fall.

He did know. The bowl was made by her hands, broken by them, and repaired by them too. Zoro had asked why she bothered to repair them when it meant their use became limited due to the heat limits of the lacquer. She had said kintsukuroi was just a physical extension of the way she approached her sense of self. As swordfighters they both practiced mushin. But for Kuina, there was something else. She had almost died as a child, the scar on her neck proof of Wado Ichimonji uncharacteristically betraying its mistress. Before that accident, she had been almost paralyzed with anger at the expectation that she would be weaker since she was born female. That she would always have to prove herself and that there would be a limit she could not surpass, not because she was human but because she was born with a body society considered lesser. This anger did not take into consideration that she was already beating adults of varying genders in matches as a child and showed no signs of stopping. The message from society had already gotten inside her: “you are female therefore you are woman therefore you are weak.” And weakness was unacceptable.

The scar, the proof of the accident, was not something easily hidden. She had been offered new clothes with higher collars to hide it, makeup to conceal it. But she had refused. It was proof of her will to survive, her luck outmatching the blade of a sword. She wore the scar with pride. And when she was told girls were not supposed to have scars at all, it was what had made her realize she didn’t have to accept anything she was told girls were supposed to be or do. She showed her scar with pride like it was a golden vein in a bowl. She did not need to fit someone else’s image or expectations to value herself, her strengths, her flaws, her perfect imperfections.

Kuina tipped her bowl back to drink the leftover milk and then held it out towards Zoro, turning it to emphasize her points.

“You only have the one bowl. The one relationship with the other person. And yeah, maybe for the two of you, none of the cracks meant much or you were able to repair them easily-however you want this metaphor to go. And then, the bowl split in two. You don’t have to ignore that break to move on. You can repair it, line it with gold, make the bowl more beautiful for its flaws. Maybe he’s back in your life because now you both have the means of repair. Your relationship with him does not have to be any less precious for the cracks in it. Or in this case, the break. It won’t be the same as it was because the two of you have changed as people. The pieces wouldn’t fit if you tried to put them back together expecting them to be the same. You have to figure out how your new forms fit together. The gold is just there to help the process along.”

“This metaphor is getting away from you.”

“Haha yeah it is. But you get the idea.”

“Pretty wise for someone Perona says has her head full of sword fighting.”

“That just means my mind’s sharp! And I  _ am _ your older sister, gator head.” she said smugly as she ruffled his hair.

“First, you’re only older than me by, like, a year. I’d hardly count that as a head start. And second, we’re not actually related.” 

“Zoro, how could you? My father practically raised you!” Kuina said in mock hurt, putting her hand up to her heart.

“Yeah right, like I’d want to be related to a monster like you.” he grinned.

“Ah! The pain!” Kuina declared dramatically, imitating a fainting gentlelady. “I suppose I cannot force thou to accept our bond. I shall forgive thee this day. Let us hug it out.”

“No fucking way, that’s a trap.” he said.

“Oh pray thee stop this slander!” and then she was lunging at him across the table. He was fucking right.

Perona came down the stairs later to find Kuina holding Zoro in a full body lock on the floor yelling “ACCEPT MY FAMILIAL LOVE!” and Zoro refusing to tap out even as his lungs gasped for air.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peasant food for a pleasant evening. Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited the restaurant name to be less Frankenstein French and more Layered Pun.

A time was negotiated for meeting. Lunch, with the instruction to ‘come hungry’.

  
Kuina and Zoro pulled to the front of the restaurant Sanji had directed them to. It was the restaurant they had staked out before, the one Franky had kicked them out of. Their stake out spot hadn’t been in view of the sign (rookie mistake to park right in front of your target). As they approached, Zoro read it to himself under his breath:  _ Tourbillon de Aubergine _ . The fucking name from his awkward conversation with an operator. It reminded Zoro of the nickname Zeff used to call Sanji. He wondered if he still did. There was a ‘Closed’ sign showing in the glass but when tested, the doors were unlocked. As they pulled them open he wondered if Franky had gotten the memo that they were supposed to be there. 

When they entered, the tables were not as empty as the last time they were here. There were two women, the same man with the overalls but not wearing them this time, Franky, Top Hat Violin Man, Monkey D. Luffy, what looked like a child wearing a reindeer jumpsuit, of all things, and Sanji.

“Zoro! Kuina! You came!” Monkey D. greeted them with a wide grin.

“So...this is the crew. Kuina, wonderful to see you.” Sanji said. Zoro could tell he was trying to cover the awkwardness in his voice. He was serving food to the two tables occupied by the group.

“Sanji! You’ve grown so much!” Kuina said. She leaned to Zoro and whispered, “You two can go talk about the elephant in the room while I get a vibe from ‘The Crew’. Enjoy!”

“Great, thanks so much Kuina.” Zoro said sarcastically, grimacing.

“Hold on a sec, I’ll be right back. You can sit at whatever empty table you want.” Sanji called to him across the room. Then he disappeared into the kitchen.

Zoro picked a table next to the wall, far enough from the group that he wouldn’t worry about being overheard. Sanji came out with two plates of a hearty looking coq au vin, truffade, a greener-than-usual variation of piperade, and bread tucked under his arm.

He placed the food at the table Zoro had chosen and sat.

“I’d offer you wine but I don’t really want any substances involved right now.” Sanji said.

Zoro eyed the food. “You’re being awful hospitable to someone you were threatening to kill.”

“Well...you know me.” Sanji said, tucking into the meal.

“Yeah…” Zoro did. Or at least he used to. It was nice to know that at least Sanji’s penchant for feeding anyone and everyone hadn’t changed. He began eating. It was like being flung through time to dinners in the Jambe household, Zeff or Sanji or both cooking dishes from Zeff’s own childhood. It was good. It was _really_ good.

“So here’s what I don’t get,” Zoro began, “why the fuck was that the end? Fighting never meant anything before.”

Sanji choked.

“Oh so that’s how we’re starting? No ‘how’ve you been, Sanji’? Shouldn't have expected you to learn any manners since then, you damn Neverland Lost Boy.”

“Oh yeah, well, your eyebrows curl the same way.”

“Well I can’t do anything about them but you can do something about how uncouth you are!”

“Well at least _I_ don’t still act like a lovesick fool.”

“Ha! Like you’d ever notice me being lovesick!”

“I noticed when you fell over yourself to talk to Kuina!”

“When have I ever done that since she beat my ass over it when we were eight?!” Sanji demanded.

“The other night! ‘Oh mademoiselle please take my life because I disturbed you!’ Sound familiar?” Zoro mimicked.

“Wait, that was _Kuina?”_ Sanji’s sneer was interrupted by his surprise.

“Yeah, love-cook, that was _Kuina_.” Zoro said triumphantly.

“Shit. I didn’t recognize her in that getup. Why the hell was she wearing _lace?_ I would think it would be a sensory nightmare for her.”

“Our roommate lent her the dress. We, um, didn’t have anything else to wear. Which was why I was...wearing...that suit…” he trailed off. As expected, Sanji stiffened up.

“Right.” he said tightly.

Damn, and they had been getting along so well.

They carried on eating until Sanji spoke.

“You were putting your life on the line for a shitty reason. And I couldn’t deal with my closest friend refusing to see how his chosen line of work supported our fucking authoritarian world government and putting people in prison. But I didn’t have a solution at the time and it felt like we would just keep having the same argument until I was able to give you another path to follow. And then I had waited so long to talk to you but you didn’t reach out either so I figured ‘fuck, I guess that’s that’ and it fucking hurt.”

“Yeah, well, it fucking hurt me too. You were moving on and I couldn’t do shit like college and you wouldn’t _look_ at me when I visited. And since when were my decisions your responsibility?” Zoro said.

“Almost none of that has anything to do with what I just said.”

Zoro did not miss Sanji ignoring the question.

“Well, I don’t really have much to say about the other stuff. Bounty hunting isn’t the same. Or maybe it never was what I thought it was. When I was younger everything seemed pretty clearly black and white. Kuina and I were chasing down bad guys and putting them behind bars but we weren’t cops. But now.” He sighed. “I don’t know. Neither of us wants to enter some contract and be forced to use our skills to do shit we don’t want to do. But we don’t really have any marketable skills other than Fight and we both have financial obligations. I guess that’s why we’ve both kind of stuck with it. But the intersection of people we’re willing to go after and able to go after is getting smaller and smaller. I don’t actually know what to do next...” Zoro said. He left out the part about hoping that Monkey D.’s bounty would take care of them for a while.

Sanji was staring at him, nonplussed.

“Are you saying I was right?” Sanji asked.

“...yeah.”

“Wow, you never would have admitted outright that I was right before. Maybe you _are_ different.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  


“You’re trying to tell me that you didn’t know you were so stubborn, trying to change your mind was like trying to convince the planet to spin the other direction?”

“Come on, I wasn’t that bad.” Zoro huffed.

“Yeah you fucking were. That’s why I didn’t know what the fuck to do. If me bringing up the issues with bounty hunting didn’t change your mind then, it meant you were just going to have to realize it yourself. And I didn’t know how long that would take.”

“Looks like it took about eight years.”

“Yeah.”

They sat in relative silence again. The tables with the crew and Kuina were loud with laughter and conversation.

“What if I could offer you a job.” Sanji said.

“Monkey D. already did.”

“Okay first fuck you, second, _please_ call him Luffy. ‘Monkey D.’ just sounds wrong, and third, is that a yes?”  
  


“Fine, _Luffy_ already did. And no, it’s not. Tell me why I should work for you.”

“Well, it’s definitely not working _for_ me. That’s just not how we work. Plus, there is absolutely no way this crew would listen to anyone’s orders because they had to. They do this because they want to.” Sanji thought for a second. “Think of it like a co-op, I guess.”

“I distinctly remember someone calling for ‘Boss’ when I was last here.” Zoro countered.

“Ah, yeah, Usopp likes to do that. Thinks it’s funny because we’re like a crime syndicate but not.” Sanji said.

“You said everyone here does this because they want to. Why do you want to? And what exactly is ‘this’?” Zoro gestured to the room at large.

“This is...Well I guess you could call it vigilante justice. Or taking things into our own hands. Or picking up where the law leaves off. It’s taking down the people that are usually out of reach.

The system that bounty hunting supports is not designed to take down the rich and powerful, Zoro, it’s designed to keep them where they are at the expense of everyone else. You only go after the ones careless enough to get noticed. You think there aren’t ‘bad guys’ who go completely under the radar? Who hide their crimes beneath piles of money? We expose them. We steal their shit and give it back to the people they stole it from. We hurt them in the only language they understand: loss. Usually, we even get to stop them from hurting more people. The bounty hunters, cops, the World Government? They don’t go after the big fish. We do.” 

Sanji leaned forward. 

“You don’t catch anything worthwhile by staying on land, Zoro. You have to dive.” He grinned, flashing predatory teeth. “So, feel like a swim?”

Zoro crossed his arms and considered him for a moment, thinking. This felt just like when Sanji would propose some new troublemaking scheme, roping Zoro in as his partner in crime. This time it was just literal. Zoro returned his grin.

“You always did like a nice turn of phrase. I’ll have to talk to Kuina but yeah, I’m in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, piperade already comes with green peppers. Yes Sanji made it even more green. Yes it's because he was feeding Zoro.
> 
> I just feel like it makes sense for Sanji to have a fancy-ass French restaurant but then make peasant food for the crew. It's got home vibes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to plan, man.

Kuina was all for joining Sanji’s not-a-crime-syndicate crime syndicate. Not only did she think it would be fun, but she and Monke-- _ Luffy _ had been getting on like a house on fire. When Zoro went to talk to her he found her in an eating contest with the man and was surprised he was holding his own against her. Everyone else was already full, but the two of them showed no signs of stopping. As if anticipating this, Sanji had returned to the kitchen again and brought out another set of the coq au vin for the two of them.

“How did you know they’d want...” Zoro counted the plates before the two, “fourths and fifths?”

Sanji gave him a look like he was asking why Sanji would bring an umbrella with him when it was raining.

“We both grew up with Kuina, and I have definitely not forgotten her appetite. You don’t know him yet but this fucker is just as insatiable. Honestly, I made enough food for 30 people and I’m  _ still _ not sure it’ll be enough.” Sanji said, sighing.

* * *

As Kuina and Luffy finished eating and everyone cleaned up, they took the opportunity to introduce themselves to Zoro. Nami, who Zoro had heard on his call with Luffy, had strikingly orange hair and freckles and was the first. She claimed the title of thief, grifter, and unofficial heist fashion consultant for the crew.

“If it weren't for me, half these chucklefucks would wear crocs and sandals to every heist. Which, they have their place, but are rarely appropriate footwear,” she said as an aside.

Robin, black haired with dark skin that made the blue of her eyes even more piercing, introduced herself as a fellow grifter, art history enthusiast, and cipher specialist.

“Wait, have we met? Your voice sounds familiar.” Zoro asked her.

“Ah, I believe I answered the phone once and you were the caller.”

Zoro realized she had been the one to answer the phone for L’aubergine Frisée when he first called the number in Trigger Happy’s wallet.

Franky re-introduced himself. “I basically do staging and co-create gadgets with Usopp. It’s real nice to have a bro to work with these days.”

“What were you doing before?” Zoro asked.

“I was doing support work for MY WIIIIIFE!” Franky declared, kneeling and throwing his massive arms out as though to present Robin like she were on a game show. She looked extremely neutral about the whole thing, except for the little uptilt of her mouth.

“And I’m the incredible Usopp he’s talking about!” said another of the crew. Zoro recognized him as the guy who had run to the kitchen when he and Kuina had first found Luffy. “I’m the best hacker the world has ever seen and a real-life Q! You know, like from James Bond? But even more handsome.” The man was clearly boasting but Zoro could see that he was, in fact, quite handsome, including his Pinocchio-esque nose.

Zoro felt a tap on his shoulder and turned. “I’m Brook, but I’m just a musician for the restaurant,” said Violin Man. “If you have any requests I’m happy to oblige! Yohohoho!”

The man was so tall Zoro had to crane his neck a bit to look at his face this close.

The last was the teenager in the reindeer suit. The kid approached him and gave him a death glare, of all things. “You’ve got a reputation buddy, and I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces from your reckless behavior.”

“What? What’s that supposed to mean? And how old are you anyway? Cook, why do you have a minor in your crew?” Zoro called.

“I’m not a minor! I’m 20!” the kid yelled. He certainly didn’t look any older stomping his foot in a pajama onesie.

“Chopper here is our gifted wunderkind of a doctor. He was in the middle of completing his residency when he joined us. One of the youngest doctors ever at 18, beat only by Dr. Ambati.” Robin said, putting her hand on Chopper’s shoulder. 

The incredibly young looking man struggled to control his expression before breaking into a proud grin, brow still furrowed in his effort to frown.

“Just because Robin complimented me doesn’t mean I’m not still watching you, bastard!”

“Chopper! Give it a rest! Come help me with the counters!” Sanji yelled from the kitchen. 

Chopper looked a tad guilty and then retreated to the kitchen, giving Zoro ‘I’m watching you’ fingers before disappearing through the doors.

Kuina scooted over to Zoro. “So, you’ve got a reputation, eh? Wonder what it is,” she smirked.

“Oh fuck off,” he said with no real bite.

* * *

When the cleaning was done, Sanji invited Zoro and Kuina upstairs. They passed the landing with the spiral staircase, curtain now pulled aside and held by gold-yellow ropes. They proceeded down the hall away from the restaurant’s dining room to a door marked as ‘Employees Only’. It led upstairs to a hallway with even more doors. Zoro wondered if these past few weeks would have gone quite differently if he had just turned left in that restaurant hallway. But maybe not since the place seemed designed to hide the crew’s real operations under layers of normalcy.

Sanji and the rest of the crew (sans Brook, who apparently really was just the musician, and Chopper who went through a different door) entered one of the rooms, which contained a long conference table and a massive multi-screen setup. The screensaver was a little green ball, bouncing statically from side to side.

Kuina leaned over to Zoro and whispered, “Hey I think that’s a marimo.”

Zoro looked at it again, squinting. Sure enough he could see fuzzy edges to it. What the fuck was up with that? Kuina looked like she was about to cry, holding in her laugh at Zoro’s expression.

“Hey! Sourcil! What the hell is that!” Zoro demanded, pointing, all eyes turning to look at him.

Sanji looked at the screen himself. After a moment of silent shock he turned to Usopp, pointing a threatening finger, flames in his eyes, and...cheeks pink? “You’re fucking dead.”

Usopp and Luffy broke, laughing like hyenas at Sanji.

“You just added three more plans that END WITH YOU DYING!” Sanji yelled.

“I told you! I told you he’d be surprised! I didn’t think I’d get the actual Marimo too, though!!” Usopp was crying.

“Sit down, shut up, and listen!”

The two were still wracked with laughter, but eventually pulled themselves together.

“Wow, I’m already glad you’re joining, Zoro.” Usopp said, wiping tears from his eyes.

“What exactly are we listening to?” Zoro asked.

“My new plan, shithead.” Sanji said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Why the fuck is it ‘your’ plan?”

“Because I’m the mastermind?”

“I thought you weren’t the boss!”

“He’s not, but since he’s so good at all the planning I made him the mastermind!” Luffy said, laughing. Zoro realized he didn’t actually know what  _ Luffy _ did.

“He is quite good at it. He knows how to match people’s skills nicely.” Robin chimed in.

Zoro was surprised Sanji didn’t just fall over dead right there at the compliment. Sanji cleared his throat to get their attention, shifting through images on the screen as he spoke.

“So, the rest of you probably remember this, but to catch you two up, this is what’s going on. We’re going after Buggy. He’s the head of a large weapons manufacturing firm that has multiple government contracts. He also covers up the regular jobsite accidents that lead to injury and sometimes death for his employees. The families get no insurance compensation, the deaths are blamed on the employee, and injuries are not covered by worker’s comp. Usually, he’s untouchable due to his military contracts. So, we have begun the process of souring his relationship with the people in charge of those contracts.” He turned to Zoro. “That’s what the bank robbery you were...caught in was about. He has a joint deposit box that he does some shady under-the-table business through, so we made it look like he hired a group of well-trained robbers to steal some assets back.”

“Then why didn’t I see any of you there?”

“We outsourced it. Didn’t want to burn our faces so soon.” Nami answered.

“Right…”

“So anyway,” Sanji continued, “the relationship is on the ropes. This gallery tour is an effort on Buggy’s part to get back in the good graces of his contractors, as suggested by some subliminal messaging on our part and our skillful Ms. Robin. He’s providing security for the event, as you know, and half of the pieces are his own. The most important one that belongs to one of his contacts is  _ Portgas _ . Robin?” 

Robin stood and pulled up a picture of the painting.

“ _ Portgas _ was first painted about 900 years ago by an artist known as Gol. The rumor is that it only changes hands through theft or gift, and has never been sold or bought.”

“It’s literally priceless.” Nami sighed dreamily.

“Indeed.” Robin nodded. “Gol himself was said to be in love with the greatest thief of his age, one able to steal time itself. Nothing is known of the thief except that  _ Portgas _ is supposed to be a portrait of her.”

Zoro looked closer at the image of the painting. It still only looked like a landscape of nature to him.

Robin handed it off to Usopp who went over the blueprints of the next gallery: Water 7. Franky added his own expertise, having known one of the designers for the building from his past in engineering. The place was practically an aquarium with how many water features it had.

Zoro and Kuina provided their firsthand experience with the rest of Buggy’s security, including range of weapons used and shift rotations.

Sanji returned to the front, taking over again.

“So, since a couple of  _ someones _ jumped right in the middle of our last plan, we had to abort mission prematurely. Which means they’ll be expecting us even more this time, and even if that weren’t the case, this is the second-to last stop on the tour. But, we can use that to our advantage. Zoro and Kuina will continue their job with Buggy and use Luffy’s presence as an excuse to take out the guards in our way. Nami and I will be among the crowd, pretending to be guests. Nami will steal  _ Portgas _ and pass it off to me. She’ll exit with Robin providing cover, as she has already inserted herself into Buggy’s tour organizers. Luffy will run to the exit point, leaving a path for me to escape with the painting. I can pick off any guards that Team Swords doesn’t take out.”

“First of all, there  _ won’t be any _ for you to ‘pick off’ and second of all I doubt you could take any of Buggy’s people. You wouldn’t injure your precious hands.” Zoro interrupted.

“That broken nose of yours from last time would say I can.” Sanji returned smugly.

“Wait what?”

“You don’t remember a certain foot kicking you into our bar?” Sanji asked, pointing at his own feet.

“That was  _ you?” _ Zoro hadn’t actually seen who had kicked him, just recognized the feeling of a shoe hitting his face. He had assumed Sanji had stopped any sort of fighting when he went to France. He certainly hadn’t met any of Zoro’s provoking with the same kind of friendly roughhousing while he was there.

“Yeah, mosshead,  _ that was me. _ ” Sanji smirked. “Anyway, as I was saying, Usopp will provide support with the automatic security system. Franky will be with him in the Sunny-that’s our main van-and ready to drive us away when we’re out.”

Behind Sanji, different paths out of the building were highlighted, marking escape routes for the five directly involved with the painting.

“Sounds pretty straightforward.” Kuina said.

“Oh don’t worry, Sanji always has a bunch of backup plans!” Luffy grinned.

“That’s right, but you don’t have to worry about those. The ones where people die are only for those who deserve it.” Sanji said, squinting his eyes at Luffy and Usopp who burst out laughing again.

* * *

Sanji and Nami took Zoro and Kuina to get new formal clothes the morning of the heist. Nami had offered to lend Kuina a dress but she had staunchly refused. Sanji had outright banned Zoro from wearing his prom suit, claiming that it looked ridiculous, which Kuina had laughingly agreed upon. Zoro was glad they were getting along so well after all these years but didn’t especially appreciate it being at his expense.

So here he was, in a changing room, in a suit that Nami had picked out, feeling surprisingly comfortable and pretty intimidating. It was a deep blue, almost black, with subtle light blue embroidery that resembled dragon scales around the cuffs and bottom hem of the jacket and pants. The dress shirt was the same color as the embroidery, the tie the same color as the jacket. She had put him in hightop formal shoes as well. She somehow had the ability to find classy looking shit that was still comfortable, something he didn’t know was possible.

He could hear Nami and Kuina in the changing room next to his.

“Hey, i know you said no makeup, but can I try something else?” Nami asked.

“What is it?” Kuina asked warily.

“This.”

“Oh, fuck yeah.”

When Zoro and Kuina exited their changing rooms, Nami had already returned to her seat in front of them. Kuina was wearing a suit, black pants and a jacket with gold cranes in flight across it. Her dress shirt was open at the collar, no tie. It exposed her scar, which Zoro realized must be intentional, because surrounding and highlighting it was gold leaf applied directly to her skin. It was like she was one of her bowls, like Nami had performed a human version of kintsugi, turning the stitch marks into golden joinery of Kuina’s skin. Kuina’s face was split in two by the grin reaching from cheek to cheek. Zoro couldn’t help but match her.

“Oh god, what have I done?” Nami groaned.

“What, is everything okay?” Sanji asked worriedly as he rounded the table of ties and pocket squares he had been perusing.

“I made them look  _ too _ good!” Nami exclaimed.

Sanji caught sight of Kuina first. “Oh! Kuina you look really good! Badass, even. Trust the wonderful Nami to find something that looks good and is easy to move in…” his speech trailed off as his eyes moved to Zoro. “Oh.”

Zoro made a face.  _ He _ thought he looked good. Apparently Sanji didn’t, despite his complimenting of Nami's abilities. He ignored the twinge in his chest. And wasn’t that a familiar habit.

Sanji’s hand went up to his nose abruptly. When he looked at his hand, it came away with blood on his finger tip. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he muttered.

Nami laughed as Sanji stomped away, presumably to deal with his nose. Zoro hoped the man didn’t get nosebleeds often because that would be a major inconvenience on a job.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go steal a painting.

Buggy thankfully did not comment on their clothes at Water 7. The briefing was much shorter this time around since it was the newcomers’ second tour stop. Neither bounty hunter-well, neither ex bounty hunter, and Zoro wondered what they should call themselves now-was especially interested in the foot tour of the gallery, having seen the layout thoroughly in planning with the crew. The floorplan shifted twice on him anyway and Kuina had to retrieve him when the group took too many wrong turns for Zoro to be expected to follow.

Soon enough, Zoro and Kuina were once again stationed guarding  _ Portgas _ , though Kuina had  _ once again _ abandoned him for the food provided. Even more patrons had been trying to approach them and make small talk and he was getting pretty tired of it. Nami was right, she had made them look too good. With Kuina gone, at least it halved the interest. What was with rich people and propositioning strangers?

Thinking about the suit shopping had Zoro thinking about Sanji. They had moved right from that difficult discussion over food to the job offer to the planning to training and then the shopping trip had been Nami-driven. Zoro didn’t know why Sanji had been there in the first place. In fact, Sanji had been present not only for the shopping, but for Franky and Luffy training them on their rope and harness escape methods, Usopp’s distribution of crew comms disguised as the ones Buggy used, and Robin’s tips on keeping up the act while working. He had invited them to multiple meals, claiming it was for team bonding. 

It had been a nice month of creating new relationships with the crew. They were bonds he could expect to last and weren’t just sparring partners or Perona and Kuina. Throughout, Zoro had started to get to know the cook again, the both of them falling into old habits. Habits like fighting, bickering, Sanji using touch to tease him, and, unfortunately, habits like Zoro maybe a little bit having feelings for the cook. Fuck.

But Zoro hadn’t had a chance to address it, not that he planned to bring it up in the first (or this case, second) place. Sanji was present and the two talked, caught up on their eight years apart. But it was always with Kuina or members of the crew around. They hadn’t sat down to talk one-on-one again, and Sanji had definitely not addressed why he felt responsible for Zoro’s direction in life. Nor had he addressed Zoro basically confessing his feelings by revealing that Sanji not looking at him in France had been an...issue. If the cook was ignoring that then he clearly did not  _ want _ to address it which was fine by Zoro. He had plenty of practice ignoring his romantic feelings for the man. It didn’t bother him.

Just like it hadn’t stung when Sanji had such a quietly negative reaction to his suit. Zoro didn’t even care about clothes usually, so why the fuck did that quiet “Oh.” feel worse than if Sanji had insulted him outright?

And fuck, speak of the devil. He could see a head of blonde hair weaving it’s way towards him through the crowd, stopping at other pieces, not making the approach to his position too obvious. What a professional.

Zoro looked away, not wanting to be caught staring. He made eye contact with a stranger in the crowd who had eyes like Robin: sharp and piercing, except gold instead of blue, before they looked away. His hand subconsciously went to rest on the hilt of Kitetsu.

“Hey.” Sanji said, suddenly right in front of him and casual as you like.

“Hey.” Zoro replied, hopefully just as casual. When had Sanji learned to sneak up on people like that?

“How’s the guarding going?” Sanji leaned forward, pretending to examine  _ Portgas _ .

“S’fine.”

“Good. Cool.”

Sanji didn’t walk away. He was giving Zoro a look like it was his turn to say something now. For fuck’s sake, why did they have to play at small talk? Whatever. He would oblige the man but not on his terms. Fuck small talk. He had some questions.

“So, that Chopper kid. He hasn’t really stuck around except for meals. He didn’t seem to like me either, but was fine with Kuina, so I know it doesn’t have to do anything with us being bounty hunters. And why does he always wear that reindeer jumpsuit thing?”

If their resident doctor had a problem with him that was going to be a problem for all of them. Zoro and Kuina could handle most minor injuries themselves but they definitely had a limit to their skin-stitching abilities.   
  


“He...didn’t really get a chance to have a childhood, so I guess he’s making up for it now by wearing pajamas whenever he wants. And, uh, the crew might have already known about you and...our past. A bit.”

Well, that kind of explained Chopper, and it kind of explained Usopp and Luffy’s screensaver prank and subsequent occasional marimo-based humor. And it might explain the looks Robin and Franky kept giving him. But it felt like there was something missing.

“You get nosebleeds right before jobs a lot?” Zoro asked, changing subjects. He figured things would fall into place eventually. And it would be good to know if they tended to happen a lot.

“W-what?” Sanji spluttered, whipping his head to look at him.

“Like a nerves thing? You know how people will throw up before a concert or something.”

“What? No, I don’t  _ get _ nervous. I know what I’m doing, unlike some people.” Sanji said pointedly.

Zoro ignored that, turning his thoughts in his mind. And then some hazy piece of knowledge floated to the surface.

“Wait, didn’t you used to get nosebleeds when-” he cut himself off before he could finish, brain-to-mouth filter reasserting itself. Because he definitely did not need to say outloud to Sanji ‘hey didn’t you get nosebleeds when you had the hots for a girl because you were a horny-ass teen?’

And then a memory, not hazy but in sharp focus, rose to the surface of his subconscious as well.

As puberty hit, soft touches became too much, too intense for Zoro to handle. The way he could casually touch Sanji as children lost it’s ease as they entered teendom. So he replaced it with joking punches and pushes and all the things that felt acceptable and reasonably deniable, hidden under the intricate dance of touching without revealing his desire to do so. The opposite seemed to happen for Sanji. Yes, he fought back, returning Zoro’s friendly violence with his own. But where Zoro retreated from touch, Sanji advanced. He almost seemed to delight in tormenting Zoro, draping over him just to see the other boy squirm and cackling when Zoro threw him off with an elbow to the ribs. Zoro figured the increase in touch was Sanji’s way of getting under his skin. It was always a competition. Who could rile the other up first, who could run the fastest, who could endure the most pain. 

Once, Zoro had met Sanji with a taste of his own medicine. They had been sitting catty-corner from eachother at the small table in Zeff’s kitchen, working on homework. Sanji had begun his usual tactics, reaching over to brush his hand on Zoro’s left forearm, teasing him about his newest cuts and bruises from fighting Kuina as his fingers walked along Zoro’s skin. This time though, Zoro had a half-formed plan to fight back. So he let the touch continue, pretending to continue his work until Sanji’s fingers had begun tracing a cut under his shirtsleeve, the blonde teen leaning forward to reach. And then Zoro had struck, grabbing Sanji’s unoccupied hand with his right. Hand holding would surely result in some reaction. It certainly made Zoro jump every time Sanji had used it on him.

Sanji had looked up, expression changing from teasing to surprised, eyes meeting his own. When Zoro did nothing else, the other boy had smiled, a smile Zoro had not seen before, meaning indiscernible. Zoro decided to take it as Sanji accepting his challenge, a smile at the beginning of a fight. Sanji pressed forth, walking his hand over Zoro’s left shoulder, until his hand cupped Zoro’s neck, thumb jostling his earrings.

Zoro intertwined their fingers.

Sanji leaned in.

Zoro gulped. 

He fought down a blush, steeling his features and pushed on.

He leaned forward himself, placing his left hand on Sanji’s knee, squeezing just a bit to drive home that he intended to win.

Sanji drew his thumb over Zoro’s lips. 

His hand was a live wire. Zoro’s breath escaped him and he had to stop himself from pressing his lips further into the pad of Sanji’s thumb.

Which was how he got his terrible idea.

Not breaking eye contact, Zoro opened his lips and jerked his head forward, taking Sanji’s thumb into his mouth and biting down. Not enough to really hurt, but enough. Maybe attacking the boy’s precious hands would secure him the win. His tongue automatically moved to meet the foreign object in his mouth. He did not think about how he would like it to not be so foreign. 

Sanji jerked his thumb back like he had just touched it to a hot stove.

“ _ Merde! _ ” He swore under his breath.

Zoro grinned past his own arousal, stamping it down to present a face of victory. He didn’t need Sanji knowing that it was not discomfort that would have ended their impromptu game of Chicken.

“Serves you right, getting a taste of your own medicine. What is it they say? ‘Can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen?’ Some cook you’ll make,  _ sourcil. _ ” Zoro gloated.

Sanji pulled his other hand from Zoro’s grasp, kicking a laughing Zoro’s chair over. “Shut up shitty Marimo.”

“Ha! I win!” Zoro cackled as he sat up. He glanced at the thumb he had bitten and was surprised to see blood.

“Oh shit you’re bleeding.” Zoro hadn’t thought he had bit hard enough to break skin but the cook had passed his thumb under his nose and it had left blood smeared above his lip, too.

“What?” Sanji asked. Zoro tapped his own thumb and Sanji looked at his hand. “Oh shit. Fuck. Uh shit, I’m gonna go clean this up.”

It had worked to lessen Sanji’s touches for a while, but they did not abate entirely. Until, of course, they did.

But that wasn’t what mattered right now, because as Zoro recalled this memory he realized that it hadn’t been that he had somehow accidentally broken the skin with his teeth. Sanji had had a nosebleed over  _ him _ when they were teens. And if that was true, it meant that the chances were high Sanji had had another one  _ over him _ earlier that day. 

Holy shit, had Sanji been, was Sanji attracted to him? Had Sanji been into him when they were younger? He had only shown interest in girls back then, but you could learn a lot about yourself in eight years. Zoro hadn’t even known there was anything past gay and straight until after highschool. And if Zoro’s reasoning was right, Sanji hadn’t been interested in  _ only _ girls when they were younger. He just hadn’t been  _ vocal _ about any interest outside of them.

“Hello? Earth to Shitty Guard? Seaweed-san?” The unexpected honorific snapped Zoro out of his shocking revelations. Sanji was waving his hand in front of Zoro’s face.

“What?” Zoro grunted.

“What the fuck just happened? You cut off and then looked like you were having a stroke.”

“Uh.” Zoro said eloquently. Luckily, Kuina cut in through their shared comms.

[We’ve got guard shift happening in about one minute.] she said.

“Oh shit I need to make myself scarce.” Sanji said. “Get your head in the game, Marimo.” And then over the comms, [Nami I’m sending you the specs on the frame now.]

Yeah, because being called  _ that _ loaded nickname definitely helped him focus. He pushed away whatever thoughts or emotions his mind was trying to dig up in response, instead preparing himself for what was about to go down.

Nami and Sanji were now in the crowd. He counted down from Kuina’s warning. Right on time the lights for the entire gallery went out. In the few moments of silence before the first scream he could still hear the rush of water from the fountains and aqueous sculptures.

[Nami you’ve got 30 seconds starting now.] Usopp said over the comms. Zoro could barely hear him over the yelling and panic of the room.

He felt a presence pass by him. From the faint citrus smell he could tell it was Nami. After only 20, she was done, passing by him again and back into the chaos of the crowd. The emergency lights activated, illuminating the room in orange light. And there, atop the massive water sculpture of an old ship, was Luffy, fists raised in triumph. One held a rolled scroll of canvas.

“I’M MONKEY D. LUFFY AND I’M GOING TO BE THE GREATEST THIEF IN THE WORLD!” he proudly declared, unfurling the canvas to reveal what appeared to be  _ Portgas _ in the dim light.

“It’s Monkey D. Luffy!” one of Buggy’s men yelled helpfully.

Zoro rolled his eyes while Kuina ran back to him, yelling her line, “Zoro! It’s him!”

Zoro tried to feign surprise on his face sufficient to convince the other guards. They weren’t looking at him though so he moved on, turning to yell at Luffy, “Monkey D.! You’re under arrest in the name of the World Government!”

Luffy outright cackled, striking a pose before quickly descending the sculpture and running around under and over art installations on his way out of the main hall. Zoro and Kuina gave chase, reaching the front of the pack. It looked like both guard shifts were present and after Luffy too. Good. When all eyes were on Luffy, it meant no one was paying attention to anything else happening. He switched channels to Buggy’s comms network and heard the man yelling furiously about Zoro and Kuina being terrible guards and why the hell hadn’t anyone caught that monkey freak yet.

“We’ll catch him, stop griping!” Zoro shouted over his comms before switching back to the crew’s channel. He did not appreciate Buggy questioning their reputation, even if Zoro had no intention of actually catching Luffy. The man should know and trust that Shimotsuki and Roronoa never let their prey escape, regardless of what the beginning of the chase looked like. Hell, if he didn’t, things had the potential to go very wrong tonight.

[Mr. Buggy, perhaps we should evacuate the guests given the events of the night.] came Robin’s cool voice. It was her signal for Nami’s escape route.

Buggy grudgingly agreed. Apparently he trusted Robin. Zoro still wasn’t quite sure what to make of the woman but she was good at her job. Soon the crowd was moving quickly in one direction towards the main exits. Zoro and Kuina were chasing Luffy at a relaxed pace, making sure to never get too close to catch up. When Buggy’s men gained too much ground they took them down under the guise of competing to reach their high bounty prey. If everything went right, they wouldn’t need to worry about the consequences of angering Buggy like last time.

[Drop completed.] Nami announced.

With that squared, Zoro switched back to Buggy’s channel.

[Boss! Roronoa and Shimotsuki are in pursuit of Monkey D. but they’re taking out everyone else on the way!] one of his men was yelling from up ahead.

  
[Roronoa! Shimotsuki! What the flashy hell do you think you’re doing? Take out Monkey D.! Not my people!] Buggy yelled in their ears.

  
  


[They’re in the way.] Zoro growled. This was not untrue, and they did actually annoy Zoro. Hopefully Buggy bought it as just eccentric bounty hunters in single-minded pursuit.

As he dodged and parried a blow one of Buggy’s men, he caught Kuina’s eye. She was indicating with her free hand at their comms.

_ Yeah, I heard Buggy. _ Zoro said with his eyebrows.

Kuina indicated again, exasperated, springboarding off a guard’s back and taking out three wannabe sprinters with Wado.

Zoro finally clued in and switched channels again.

[-have eyes on Sanji? He’s not responding and I just got locked out of the security system!] Usopp sounded on the verge of panic.

[We already split. He said something about losing a tail before he went quiet though!] Nami said.

“Zoro! Go around and cut Monkey D. off!” Kuina yelled. What? That wasn’t part of the plan. She jerked her head in a ‘go’ motion. Ugh, fine, he’d go save Sanji. Like the damn curlybrow needed saving. They had sparred some leading up to this job. Zoro had been thoroughly reminded that Sanji could handle himself.

He took a random turn as soon as he could, veering off of Luffy’s path. When he was out of hearing range of Buggy’s men, he spoke into his comm.

“Where the hell is he? I’ll head over, Kuina’s got the chase handled.”

[Zoro! Run back to the main hall. I’m trying to get back into the system and can guide you when I do, but that’s probably the easiest way to go for now.] Usopp said.

Zoro could do that. He had seen the layout, he had taken the tour. And he had an excellent sense of direction. He and Kuina had turned right from the main hall on their ‘chase’ of Luffy so he just needed to turn left. He ran through smaller exhibits, which were unfamiliar, but that didn’t concern him too much.

Finally Usopp said, [Okay I’ve got partial control, I’m trying to find you now...from the main hall just-WHY THE HELL ARE YOU THERE? That’s the opposite direction of the main hall!]

“I turned left!”

[Oh my god whatever, somehow you’re actually really close to where Sanji’s escape route is, just go through that service door in front of you.]

Zoro did, momentum barely interrupted. There was no one there. He heard a crash through the door opposite him. He went through.

What he found was a towering room, tall enough to have balconies up the walls. He quickly clocked the exits: the one behind him and an archway to his right leading to another exhibit. Slithering and tumbling up the walls was a massive collection of clear tubes forming a serpent of a dragon, coiling at the top to rush down, head open to attack those below. He saw two figures. One was a woman Zoro in clothing he recognized as what Perona would call ‘Vampire Goth’. The woman was facing away from him, standing right below the dragon’s mouth. The other figure was Sanji, on the far side of the room. He was prone, having apparently crashed into the body of the dragon, water spilling at his feet from dislodged tubes. He held the travel canister with the real  _ Portgas _ in his hand. And he was bleeding.  _ Fuck _ .

“OI!” Zoro yelled, hoping to take the woman’s attention off of Sanji.

Goth Ma’am turned and Zoro saw she wielded a dagger, blade black and crossguard covered in jewels. What the fuck, why hadn’t Sanji been able to deal with her?

[Zoro, what’s going on!? I don’t have eyes in there yet!] Usopp yelled in his ear.

“Found him. He’s bleeding.” Zoro grunted into the comm and then launched himself at Goth Ma'am, Kitetsu and Yubashiri drawn.

[Oh god oh shit oh fuck Sanji I’m sorry that I ever made fun-] Usopp began rambling, the sounds of him furiously typing coming through.

Zoro tuned him out.

The woman sidestepped him easily, but that was fine because Zoro’s goal was getting himself between her and Sanji.

Zoro pivoted, back to the mastermind and facing Goth Ma'am. This close he could see her eyes and recognized the sharp gold. She had been eyeing him from the crowd earlier.

“Just couldn’t do it on your own, huh, sourcil?” he said.

“Fuck you, Marimo, you’re the one who’s supposed to deal with other shitty swordfighters. She’s strong. Watch yourself.” Sanji said.

Zoro didn’t need Sanji’s warning. He could tell. The woman was giving off an incredible aura which was now focusing solely on Zoro. Good. Then Sanji could escape as planned and Zoro could take down this fascinating new opponent.

“Go, I’ll take care of her since you couldn’t.” Zoro said.

“Ha! I softened her up for you, don’t think you get all the credit.” Sanji said. There was an edge to his voice and Zoro hoped it didn’t mean his injuries were too great to run. That would put a real damper on the whole escaping thing.

Before Sanji could get around him though, Goth Ma'am attacked, fast and hard. It was all Zoro could do to defend, trying to protect his own body and Sanji’s. The sheer pressure of the small blade was incredible. He redirected it, forcing the attack up towards the head of the dragon. Even redirected, the power of her swing was enough to cut through cleanly, bisecting the dragon’s mouth. Water began rushing out, like the dragon had come to life and was attacking with watery breath.

“Fuck, you shitty swordsman! This canister isn’t waterproof!” Sanji yelled. He jumped back, climbing on top of the dragon’s body that circled the room, avoiding the splashing water.

“I don’t think so, All Blue,” Goth Ma’am said, ignoring the deluge and going for Sanji. “I’ve got a favor to return that I’d really rather be free of.”

Zoro redirected her black blade again but her strength pushed him back. She cut through the dragon’s body, spilling water just behind Sanji. The room was narrow, primarily filled by the tubes of the dragon sculpture as it twisted and turned over and around itself. If Sanji hadn’t been there Zoro could have cut loose, dragon be damned. But Sanji was there and he had  _ Portgas _ and it was Zoro’s job to keep them both whole. And unfortunately, it seemed that Goth Ma’am had no concerns about collateral damage.

Suddenly, she backed off, widening her angle of attack. Zoro took the opportunity to put Kitetsu in his mouth and drew Shusui.

Goth Ma’am raised her blade and cut through the bisected dragon’s head above her initial cut, propelling the unnaturally wide mouth towards Sanji.

“Sanji!” Zoro yelled around Kitetsu’s hilt. Fuck he hoped the man could still interpret his full-mouth talking.

Sanji turned to see the grinning dragon’s head hurtling towards him.

“Fucker!” he yelled and threw the canister containing  _ Portgas _ at Zoro before flipping onto both hands and using the momentum to deliver a powerful kick to the dragon head, propelling it back at Goth Ma’am.

Zoro flipped Shusui’s blade down to catch the canister by its shoulder strap.

“What the hell I can’t fight like this! I don’t do four-sword style, cook!”

“Then toss it back, asshole! I just needed my hands free for a second! Don’t you dare drop it.”

Sanji motioned for the canister.

Goth Ma’am rushed for Sanji.

Zoro threw it in Sanji’s general direction, hoping it would find its mark and rushed Goth Ma’am.

[Luffy’s clear.] Kuina said over the comms.

[Kuina! Zoro found Sanji but he’s not responding now either!] Usopp yelled.

[Fucking Kermit. Lead me to them!] Kuina said.

Zoro did not have the time to let them know that he had everything under control. He tuned out Usopp’s directions to Kuina. It was taking all he had to keep his ground without taking too big a hit as Sanji navigated the dragon’s twisting body. The dragon’s neck was spraying water, making the plastic tubing of its body a dangerously slippery surface and forcing the cook to protect the canister from the moisture with his body. Zoro had seen the blood on Sanji’s shirt spread wider after that kick. He was slowing down and Zoro did not know what he would do if Sanji stopped for good.

[I’m in! Shit, shitshitshit Kuina! Get there right now!]

“Hurry up, curlicue, what’s taking so long?” He demanded.

“I’m fucking  _ trying _ you bastard! You two are making it very hard to keep this painting whole and dry!” Sanji yelled.

Finally,  _ finally _ , he made it around and down to the door Zoro had come through. Zoro relaxed minutely, relieved.

It was a mistake.

Goth Ma'am would create an opening at the smallest opportunity and did not miss this one. She broke through Zoro’s defense, got in close, and cut him from shoulder to hip, opening his chest up in a terrible mimicry of an autopsy. 

Zoro almost blacked out from the pain alone. He was used to pain but this was more than that. His body was screaming at him, setting off claxons that something was incredibly,  _ horrifically _ , wrong. His chest was made of fire, no, magma, spilling forth from the crag that had been torn open.

He held on long enough to stop her momentum, and then fell to the floor, blood running into the water surrounding him. He expected Goth Ma'am to finish the job right there, but suddenly a figure was above him and someone was yelling his name.

The figure was Kuina and she was holding off Goth Ma'am with Wado Ichimonji. In fact, she was pushing her away from Zoro’s body.

“Fuck  _ OFF _ Mihawk!” Kuina yelled as she held Goth Ma'am’s blade with her own while Sanji dragged Zoro’s body towards the door. 

“Oh, Shimotsuki...I presume this is Roronoa. This does complicate things.” Goth Ma'am-Mihawk pondered, as though unbothered by the amount of effort Zoro knew Kuina must be putting behind her blade. “Well, I suppose I did do enough damage to reasonably say I tried. Shall we give the cameras a show?” Mihawk asked. And then she let up with her dagger and in the opening of Kuina’s slight release forward, she planted her foot on Kuina’s chest and kicked her through the open door, almost crashing into Sanji and Zoro. Sanji slammed the door shut on the advancing dagger wielder, powerful kick negating the pressurized door. They heard the mechanical click of it relocking itself.

[You’re clear! You’re clear! I’ve got it locked! Run, before she cuts through the door!] Usopp yelled frantically through the comms. 

“You know her?” Zoro gurgled through the blood and pain.

“We spar sometimes. Now come on.” Kuina grunted as she hoisted him onto her back.

_ Fuck _ , was his last thought before he passed out,  _ I need to catch up. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right, Mihawk’s a woman. Just because I wanted to and tbh I think Mihawk being a woman would have been much more interesting in the canon given Kuina’s dream and the dynamics of Zoro beating Mihawk taking a woman down from the standing of greatest swordfighter. Since Oda so wants gender to be Kuina’s whole thing. Like, what would Kuina have thought, given her internal conflict about perceptions of womanhood and swordfighting ability, to learn that the greatest in the world was a woman before Zoro? (because we know Zoro’s gonna become the greatest at some point). Anyway, Mihawk’s a she and is still the strongest because I thought it would be cool.
> 
> When I was writing this chapter I suddenly thought to include Hawkeyes and my only first note to myself was "MIHAWK TIME, BABY"


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro gets some visitors.

Zoro slipped in and out of consciousness.

  
  
  
  


Kuina carried him on her back while supporting Sanji down the service hall.

  
  
  
  


The door to the underground garage opened.

  
  
  
  


He lay on the floor of the escape van as someone tried to put pressure on his wound.

  
  
  
  


There was lots of yelling in his ear for almost every part. It was pretty annoying.

* * *

  
  
  


The next time he came to he did not slip back under immediately. The searing pain in his chest was absent. In fact, he couldn’t feel his body at all. He fought off panic at thoughts of comas or full body cyborg replacement. He tried to wiggle his toes but when he couldn’t tell if they were moving, he tried to raise his arm. If he could see it moving he would know he was fine. Seeing required opening his eyes though, and for some reason he just couldn’t remember how he usually raised his eyelids.

“Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa! Stop!” came a young voice. Chopper, he remembered. Their doctor. Well, that made sense. He finally figured out the trick of sight and saw the young doctor pushing his arm back down. Oh good, it was moving and flesh. It also had thin tubes coming out of it so the cyborg thing couldn’t be ruled out completely yet.

“Mmn’n guuu uhn?” he asked, with perfect enunciation.

Chopper gave him a confused look. He wasn’t wearing a reindeer onesie and it was pretty distracting.

He tried again, forgetting to keep his eyes open with the effort of talking.

“Wha hap’n?” his mouth was dry, his tongue felt thick and slow.

“You almost got cut in half! And then somehow survived and made it here and then I performed surgery for 8 hours and are you sure you’re human!?!?” Chopper exclaimed.

Ah right, Goth Ma’am...Mihawk Kuina had called her. Mihawk had cut him and then Kuina had shown up. He didn’t remember her getting cut. He did remember the sight of Sanji covered in blood.

“K’ina? Saaji?” he asked.

“Kuina’s fine. She didn’t get hurt, though I didn’t realize at first because she was  _ covered in your blood! _ Sanji’s much better than you but you were both reckless! He's recovering in his own room.”

Zoro just grunted in response. He was glad the two weren’t dead. Usopp might have just been yelling his worst fears but Zoro did not doubt Mihawk could have cut through that door if she wanted to. He slipped back under on that thought.

* * *

  
  


When he next woke Kuina was nearby.

“Hey, matcha man.” She said, voice low.

“Ngh” he croaked.

The light was dimmer. Which was something he was able to notice this time. He looked around.

He was hooked up to machines mostly by his left arm. 

It was daytime but the sun was blocked by heavy clouds so he couldn’t tell the time.

He was in a hospital room. Unfortunate. Hospital rooms meant medical bills. He grimaced. Neither of them had insurance so most of their wounds were treated at home. Saved money and no one asked questions.

“How much?” he asked.

“Well, I’m no expert, but given all the shit they have you hooked up to and the fact that Chopper had to do surgery, I’m gonna guess way more than we can afford.” Kuina said.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Pshh, I’m not the one who almost got cut in half. You should have heard Chopper when we called him. He was panicking like a chicken with it’s head cut off, yelling for a doctor!”

“But he’s-”

“Haha I know. Once he remembered he was pretty competent though. Told us to come here, met us, patched you up. He seems to know people here, maybe he can get us a discount or something.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

Zoro and Kuina looked up at the entrance to the room.

Nami was walking through the door, carrying a bouquet of peonies, sunflowers, and forget-me-nots, and an envelope. She closed the door behind her.

“For you,” she said, indicating the flowers as she put them by the window and handed him the envelope.

He tested his hands, seeing if they worked. They did, so he angled the bed up and worked on opening the envelope. His fine motor skills were dulled. He wondered if it was the painkillers or nerve damage. And if there were exercises he could do to fix that.

“What do you mean?” Kuina asked.

“For one, Chopper has agreements with a couple hospitals so that if something like this,” she indicated Zoro, “happens, we don’t lose someone from insufficient supplies. Franky offered to build him an operating room but Chopper said it takes more than one person to perform any kind of surgery you’d need a hospital for in the first place. Anyway, we can avoid most medical bills that way since he’s the lead on anything done to us. And also, we have our own fund for paying for shit. If you’re one of us you don’t have to worry. But don’t use that as an excuse to get hurt.”

Zoro finally worked the envelope open and pulled out the paper inside as she was talking. He had expected a get well soon card or something. He did not expect an invoice.

“Hey what the fuck is this? You just said we don’t have to worry about money!”

“I said you don’t have to worry about  _ medical bills _ . This is for the cost of your suits and the chandelier you shattered.” Nami said.

Zoro gaped at her.

“Then why the hell did you give it to me? Give Kuina her own bill for her suit.”

“No way, Kuina’s too hot. Plus, you ruined yours.”

“What!?” Shit that was a mistake. Yelling meant coughing which felt all sorts of wrong, like his chest might burst open. Noted.

Kuina just laughed.

“Well if you’re going to be such a damn shark about it, why aren’t you charging me for the flowers too?”

“Those were bought with personal funds, I’m only the delivery girl. You’ll see a charge for that right here.” She leaned over and tapped the paper and sure enough, ‘Flower Delivery’ was listed.

“Call on collect, huh?”

“Actually, I charge both parties.”

“Great. And how am I supposed to pay this? We’re not exactly well-off.”

“With your cut of course.” Nami said with an unspoken ‘duh.’

Zoro looked at Kuina to see if she knew what Nami meant. She was looking at him, clearly just as confused.

Nami huffed, extremely put upon, and leaned around to make sure the door was still closed.

“You two didn’t think  _ Portgas _ was the only thing we took from under Buggy’s bright red nose, right?”

They definitely had.

“First of all, how do you expect us to fund anything if we don’t take something for ourselves from deserving asshats like that clown?”

“The restaurant?” Kuina hazarded.

“Ha! Do you know how hard it is to keep a restaurant afloat?”

“No…” Zoro said.

“Well, it’s definitely not the restaurant. Second of all, how did you think we were gonna get Buggy’s victims what they deserve? The painting was how we broke up his relationships with his government buddies, but the whole tour was a ruse to take his money too. And of course, we couldn’t leave him with enough to start over. That would just be irresponsible!” She had a decidedly evil glint in her eye. Zoro strongly suspected her motivations were not so altruistic. “Anyway, Usopp set up a couple of things here and there and before you knew it, Buggy was paying us to organize his tour. He probably should have read the fine print regarding our fee policy closer when hiring our services.” Nami smirked.

“So how much?” Kuina asked.

“Plenty enough for Zoro to pay me back. In fact, I can just take out the amount for you when I distribute funds.” Nami offered graciously.

“No! I’ll pay you myself.” Zoro absolutely did not trust her to only take the amount she claimed he owed.

“If you say so.” Nami said, only looking slightly disappointed.

She stayed a bit longer, chatting with Kuina and the two of them left together.

Zoro got back to the very important work of sleeping himself to good health. He got used to the sounds of nurses coming in and out to check on him so didn’t bother waking for them. Chopper came the next morning while his bandages were being changed to check on his progress. When the nurse left he lingered.

“Anything else, doctor?” Zoro asked. He hadn’t thought Chopper wanted anything to do with him.

“I misjudged you. Or, more like I didn’t even give you a chance. I’m sorry.” Chopper said.

“Well, you saved my life. I think we’re even.” Zoro said.

“That doesn’t count, that’s my job!”

“But you did a real good job. I would hardly guess I almost lost my lunch the wrong way out.” Zoro had gotten a good look at Chopper’s work during the bandage change and it was significantly better than anything he or Kuina could have done.

“Don’t think that makes me happy you bastard!” Chopper said, grinning goofily.

This was a definite improvement to the cold shoulder he had been giving Zoro ever since he and Kuina joined.

“I thought you coming back into Sanji’s life was just going to hurt him. But I heard what happened. You saved his life. So thank you. I know that doesn’t exactly mean you won’t hurt him, but at least I know you don’t want him to get hurt just as much as the rest of us. I  _ was _ right about not trusting you to not get hurt yourself though! You’re just as bad as him!”

“I’ll try not to make a habit out of it.” Zoro said.

“Good! I’ll come check up on you this evening, but you seem good enough for out-patient care as long as you visit me regularly so I should be able to discharge you tomorrow. Get some more rest. And if you feel like coughing, hold a pillow against your chest and hug yourself tight. I don’t want you tearing your stitches. No internal bleeding on my watch! ”

“Yes sir.” Zoro said. The kid was pretty cute once he warmed up to you.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's here! The end!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclaimer, I know nothing about Goth subtypes and did my best guess based on what I could find online.

After Chopper left, Zoro slept again. He didn’t have much else to do. When he woke up he wasn’t alone. Sanji was in a chair next to his bed, reading a book. Zoro could see the edge of bandages under the collar of his shirt. He stayed still, taking a moment to watch Sanji’s face, memorizing this new version, trying to find the history on his skin of their years apart. He closed his eyes again and shifted, flexing his hands and realized Sanji was holding his right, just as he slipped his fingers out. For once, Sanji was the one pulling away and Zoro wanted to pursue with touch. 

He didn’t. 

He’d allow the man to think he’d gotten away with it. Nothing good could come out of confronting Sanji about it because that would require Zoro to admit that it meant something to him. And sure, there was now the possibility that Sanji was attracted to him, rattling around in Zoro’s brain, but that did not necessarily mean Sanji was attracted in any other way than physically. Certainly not the way Zoro was.

“Hey shithead I know you’re awake. They brought your lunch while you were sleeping.” Sanji said. “It’s probably cold by now.” He passed it over anyway.

Zoro sat up to eat while Sanji talked.

“So, tell me why I shouldn’t fire your ass for being a shitty swordsman?”

“Cuz I saved  _ your _ ungrateful ass.” Zoro said around mushy green beans.

“Hardly. Kuina saved both our asses.”

“Then don’t fire me because we’re a package deal.”

“You’re costing me a lot in medical bills.”

“I made sure your shitty plan worked and you got your painting.”

“Only because you were in the way the first time!”

Well, Zoro didn’t have a response to that. Sanji was right so he just grunted and kept eating.

Sanji sighed, suddenly sounding like he hadn’t slept in days. “Fucking hell, Marimo. You have the luck of the devil. I thought you were gonna bleed out on the floor of Sunny.”

Ah, that was something that should be talked about, regardless of Sanji’s potential for returning Zoro’s feelings. In fact, especially because he never would. He pushed the rolling table and empty tray away from his bed.

“I need you to not call me that.”

“What, Marimo?”

“Yeah. This is...gonna be awkward.” Zoro grimaced, avoiding his gaze. “It...I need you to not call me Marimo because to me, it meant romantic love. Or at least, the potential for it, when we were kids. But I’m not okay with it anymore. Because I know you’ll never mean it that way and that’s...fine. But I need you to stop.”

“Since when did you figure out how to talk about your feelings?” Sanji asked, tone ribbing but face genuinely surprised. 

“Since Kuina and I realized we needed to go to therapy for traumatic stress. Don’t worry about it. Anyway, I’m not good at it still but I do know what a boundary is and how to set it and I’m setting one now, so stop.”

“Okay, Marimo.” 

Zoro turned toward him fast enough to make his stitches protest, for once genuinely angered at Sanji’s goading.

“For fuck’s sake Sanji! I _ just _ fucking said it, can you take me seriously for  _ once? _ ”

“No! Fuck, shit-“

“No??”

“I mean—ARGH! I’m trying to be romantic you oblivious mosshead! But of course I shouldn’t expect you to recognize being smooth when it’s right in your face! Marimo balls are symbols of undying love, you fuck! Of course I meant it romantically!”

“ _ I  _ know that! Why do  _ you _ know that? Wait—meant?”

“ _ That’s _ what you hold on to?”

“You switched to past tense. What do you mean ‘meant’?”

Sanji sighed, sounding very put upon. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I can’t believe this. I  _ mean _ that I  _ meant  _ Marimo romantically...I may or may not have been into coded phrases of love at the time. ‘As you wish’ and all that.”

“You were into that movie when we were in  _ junior high _ .” Zoro said suspiciously. 

“YES. DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?!” Sanji was throwing his hands up in the air, head thrown back in frustration. 

“Yes. I already confessed.” Zoro crossed his arms. Sanji stopped, focusing on him. 

“You fucking what.”

“You heard me.”

“When the fuck did you confess? Because I sure as fuck wouldn’t have missed you,  _ the guy I’ve been in love with my whole life _ ,  **_confessing_ ** .”

“When I said it hurt that you wouldn’t look at me in France. When we had our talk in the restaurant and you offered me a job.”

“THAT WASN’T A CONFESSION YOU FUCKFACE!” Sanji yelled, looking like he was sorely tempted to kick Zoro out the window of his hospital room. 

A nurse came marching into the room. “Sir, I need you to quiet down or I will have to ask you to leave. You are disturbing our other patients. I don’t care if your doctor’s got special permissions, this is a  _ hospital. _ ”

Sanji did not look cowed in the slightest but he did promise the man he’d keep it down. 

Zoro grinned smugly. When Sanji turned back to him he stuck his tongue out in triumph. 

“What are you, twelve?”

“That’s old enough to know I’m in love with my best friend.”

“Okay, now, see, that’s a confession. Well, closer to, anyway. You saying it hurt that I ‘didn’t look at you in France’ is abso-fucking-lutely  _ not _ a confession, shitface.”

“Well sorry I didn’t want to say ‘I was in love with you before’ after eight fucking years of no contact.”

“You don’t get to use that against me, we have already well established that we both didn’t reach out.” Sanji said, poking Zoro’s chest (it only hurt a little) and getting up in his face. And besides,  _ I  _ said I’m in love with you now  _ and  _ back then, not just back then so...I...win…” he blushed, words catching up with him.

He tried to sit back down in his chair but Zoro grabbed onto the wrist Sanji was supporting himself with on the bed.

“Don’t you fucking dare back down.” Zoro growled.

“Then fucking do something, Marimo.” Sanji bit back, up in Zoro’s face again.

So Zoro did.

It was awkward, him moving in too fast in his rush to not let this moment pass. Fuck, Sanji had just said he loved him.

“You love me.” Zoro said.

Lips.

“Yeah.”

Cheek.

“You’re  _ in _ love with me.”

Eyelids.

“Yeah.”

Nose.

“Me too.”

Forehead.

“Good, you fucking better be.”

Chin.

“Me too, me too.”

Lips again.

“I know, shut up, I’m trying to make out with you.” Sanji said, breathlessly and with no bite.

Sanji climbed up onto the bed, miraculously avoiding pulling out Zoro’s IV with his knee as he straddled him. He took Zoro’s face in his hands and kissed him thoroughly, Zoro grabbing on wherever he could. He couldn’t help but smile.

Chopper came in about five minutes later, yelling.

“No! Stop! I will not have you two tear your stitches making out, goddamnit! Sanji, get down!”

Sanji did, grudgingly. Zoro just kept grinning, unable to stop.

Chopper did his check up, including Sanji since he was there anyway.

“Okay, I’ll discharge you tomorrow, and they’ll have a prescription for pain meds when you check out. Come see me at the restaurant in three days. I’m going to leave now but you two have to promise you won’t start up again when I’m gone.” Chopper said, narrowing his eyes at the both of them.

“Yeah, yeah, we promise.” Sanji said.

“I mean it. I will blacklist you as a visitor, Sanji, don’t test me.”

“Fine!” Sanji said. He gave Zoro a wink and a sly ‘watch this’ smile. “You’re such a good doctor, Chopper, making sure we don’t tear ourselves open.”   
  


“Shaddup!” Chopper said, practically wiggling in happiness as he left.

When he was gone, Sanji put his hand back in Zoro’s. This time, when Zoro squeezed, it stayed.

“So, I guess you didn’t get my coded message with the flowers either, huh, Marimo?”

* * *

When Zoro got home, he spent most of it sleeping as well. He did not pick up his prescription for pain meds. If he was unused to pain enough that a mere near-bisection of his chest was enough to down him, clearly he needed to raise his tolerance. It wasn’t even that bad after the first day once he acclimated to not having the hospital’s drugs in his system.

“Hey so what the fuck was that about sparring with that goth lady Mihawk?” Zoro asked Kuina as she helped him change his bandages in the upstairs bathroom.

“Ohhhh right. Yeahhh. Okay to be fair to me, I didn’t think she would be there. I mean, I know she likes art and shit but I didn’t think she would have anything to do with Buggy in a million years.”

“This sounds like more than just sparring with her sometimes. You think I know any of Mr. One’s hobbies?”

“Well, I go with Perona when the two of them have brunch sometimes, so I’ve picked some stuff up.” Kuina said.

“Wait how the fuck does Perona know her?”

“Perona!” Kuina called down the hall. “We’re talking about your mom!”

“Her MOM?”

“My mom?” Perona poked her head through.

Zoro looked at her, head reeling.

“Mihawk is your  _ mom? _ ”

“Of course Mihawk is my mom. Where do you think  _ all this _ came from?” Perona pointed to her...everything. Her whole Candy Goth Lolita fashion thing. 

“But Mihawk is a Vampire Goth. Yeah, there are some similarities visually, but the sensibilities are totally different and fuck you how dare you teach me this shit.” Zoro did not at all like the looks he was getting from the two of them.

“Aw, Zoro, it’s okay. I know the goth inside you will come out some day. Anyway, to further answer your question, why do you think I’m so chill with you two owning and using swords? And bounty hunting? And coming back bloody and bruised sometimes? None of us are normal roommates! Oh shit what happened to your chest?” Kuina had just finished fully removing Zoro’s bandages.

“Your mom.”

“Wow, this is worse than that time she almost stabbed Kuina in the heart.”

“Wait when the fuck did that happen?” Zoro asked, turning to Kuina.

“Don’t worry about it, she barely scratched me.” Kuina said, brushing it off and using more pressure than necessary while applying iodine to his stitches.

“Ow, quit it, Chopper’s gonna yell at me if stuff opens up. Perona. I want to go to brunch with you and your mom.” Zoro said.

“Is it so you can ask her to spar with you.”

“Yes.”

“Ugh, fine. But only because we’re friends.” She smirked.

He knew that look. If he denied they were friends she would rescind the invitation. Damnit. Well, he’d been doing a lot of feelings sharing lately, and it had worked out pretty well. A little more probably wouldn’t hurt.

“Fine, yes, because we’re friends.”

“Oh how sweet! And what do you say to friends who do favors for you?” Perona asked innocently.

He rolled his eyes. “Thank you.”

Perona was heading back to her room when she stopped and turned around. “Hey wait, how did my mom do that to you if you’ve never met?”

“Ah! Don’t worry about it!” Zoro deflected.

“Just some freak accident, misunderstanding. You know how your mom is!” Kuina tried to cover.

“Right…”

* * *

“Hey! Bob Moss! You lost again?” Sanji called.

The halls had shifted on Zoro on his way out from his checkup with Chopper and he had found the room the crew was keeping  _ Portgas _ in. His eyes played over it, trying to see the woman Robin had mentioned, but all he could see was a landscape. Sanji walked up next to him and Zoro pulled his eyes away to look at him.

“What?”

“Bob Moss. You know, like Bob Ross, but Moss?”

Zoro grimaced. “Not your best.”

“I know.” Sanji was grinning anyway.

“Anyway, I prefer the other one.”

“What, chia pet?” Sanji asked, intentionally obtuse. Zoro shook his head. “Algae scalp? Cactus hair?  _ Tête verte?” _

“No, the other one.”

“Hm, I just can’t seem to think of which one you mean. Can you be a little more specific?”

“Marimo, asshole.” Zoro grumbled, ears feeling hot.

“I’ll call you asshole anytime you want.” Sanji said, fluttering his eyelashes.

“Oh shut up sourcil.”

Sanji laughed.

“Well?” Sanji knocked Zoro’s calf with his foot.

“Well what?”

“Are we dating or going steady or what, dear asshole? We professed our shitty undying love for eachother, remember?”

“I remember.”

“ _ Well? _ ” The knock turned into more of a kick.

“Whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want, huh? Well, boyfriend doesn’t quite feel right, considering the depth of your love for the incredible me. I mean, you basically worship the ground I walk on. How about I call you my supplicant?”

“Oi!”

“Hey you said whatever I want, don’t go back on that now. A good relationship is built on trust and commitment, Mr. Roronoa.”

“Fuck off. Just call me your partner or whatever. We’re equals and shit.” Zoro said.

“As you wish.” This romantic fucker and his coded messages.

Zoro’s eyes wandered over the painting again, searching. He looked back at Sanji as a thought struck him.

“Hey, what was up with that ‘Do Not Harm’ thing with my fucking highschool picture?”

“Oh you saw that, huh?" Sanji scratched the back of his head, seeming embarrassed. "You have zero social media, what other picture was I supposed to use?”

“That doesn’t answer what was up with it.”

“Well maybe when I was organizing a crime group I didn’t want to find out the guy I grew up with who had decided to become a fucking bounty hunter got caught in the crossfire at some point and ended up dead because he didn’t know better than to get involved with my people!”

“Right. Because you were in love with me. You can admit it.” Zoro ignored that he already had.

“Fuck off, Marimo.”

“Good enough.” Their smiles matched, beaming.

  
He turned back to  _ Portgas _ . And suddenly she looked back out at him. A woman, found in the light and shadows, making up the whole world. Once you saw her, she was unavoidable. Happy, in love, and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it, folks! I have gone back and forth on a lot of things in this fic, even after starting to post. I'm pretty happy with where it ended up. It’s my first time writing out something so long and goddamn it wasn’t supposed to be. But that is the trend with writing, I suppose!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has stuck through just short a fortnight, or if you're reading this later, thanks for sticking around to the end! I'm glad people enjoyed this. I definitely enjoyed writing it! And I adore reading people's comments, even if I don't always respond!
> 
> My thoughts behind the title: it came from a song (can't remember which one now) but if you're in the path of a lightning bolt, it's quite hard to avoid it. Almost impossible, in fact. And if you can't, you're going to be struck, and struck hard. Either Sanji or Zoro could be the bolt, since Sanji was definitely going through his own shit at Zoro suddenly showing back up in all the wrong places. I do like to imagine Zoro's memories as the bends and offshoots of a electric strike.  
> But of course I couldn't resist the idea of calling it the Marimo Mystery because that's just some good fun goofy shit.
> 
> The prompt that started this all: During a bank robbery you’re surprised when the criminals seem to recognize you and retreat in fear. Only later do you learn that your highschool sweetheart now runs a global crime syndicate and has you placed on a “no harm” list. You decide to pay them a visit after all these years.


End file.
